How do you avoid losing your mind?

[Drazzil]

I'm not going to post much here. Everyone knows what I mean. How do you avoid losing your mind over everything horrible that happens in the world? Personally I play ESO, I work my ass off and I collect coins. I also spoil the everloving bejesus out of two cats. I mean just absolutely ROTTEN. These cats want for nothing. As far as cats go they are the 1% of the 1%,my cats are happy.

How does everyone else cope with the imminent collapse of their country, their planet and their species?

[Victoria Raverna]

Focus on what you can do or change.

[Blackhawk]

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino.

Focus on what you can do or change.

But seriously, that's the best answer. Learn to recognize what things you have control of or can influence. Control or influence those things to whatever degree you find appropriate. Recognize that if you can't control or influence something, thinking and stressing about it is like a fly trying to fly through a window pane - it's pointless, and just gives you a headache.

If you can control it, do so. If you cannot, let it go.

How to let it go: Like Victoria said - focus on what you can do, not on things you can't affect. Reduce your exposure to the things that you can't. Stay informed (which is a form of control), but don't let yourself go beyond that. Once you know what's happening, do something else. Make yourself do something else.

[YellowKing]

Someone told me this several years ago when my son was having some surgery as a toddler. I was extremely worried about him, to the point of almost making myself sick.

And what they told me was, "Things are usually never as bad as you think they'll be. And if something does go wrong, you won't have time to worry because you'll be too busy dealing with it."

It seems so simple, but that took a weight off my shoulders. Because it made something click that my worry wasn't helping anyone. My son was most likely going to be just fine, and if my worries did come true then I'd deal with it. I'd have no choice BUT to deal with it.

This was reinforced a few years later when I got into the rollercoaster hobby. I had always been absolutely terrified of roller coasters, until my brother finally got me on one. And then I was hooked. But what that taught me is your mind is almost *always* going to go into survival mode and amplify your fears to keep you safe. And the vast majority of the time, those fears are completely unfounded.

When I really start to get anxious about something, I've learned to reel myself in and understand A) it's going to be fine B) if in the rare circumstance it's not fine, you'll deal with it and move on.

A lot of our worry, I think, is not about an event itself, but how we will deal with it should that event occur. There's a lot of power in giving yourself permission to deal with bad things. And know that if that event occurs, you have the capability to handle it.

[Blackhawk]

A lot of our worry, I think, is not about an event itself, but how we will deal with it should that event occur.

I know that I tend to front-load my stress. If there is something that I'm dreading that will take an hour, I'll spend 48 hours in advance miserable, worrying and stressing about it. Net result is that I take an hour of misery and turn it into two days of misery.

[Jaymann]

Attach a key finder to it?

[Blackhawk]

FWIW, doomscrolling is the opposite of what you (and I) should be doing. And I've noticed that the R&P section here on OO has become less discussion and more venting about how terrible things have gotten and how awful people are. It's cathartic, but it's not doing me any favors. I tend to come off of a 'catch up' session stressed and angry. I need to stop reading the section unless there is something significant happening, and that includes the COVID threads - those are mostly an example of someone doing something stupid, people getting angry because they did something stupid, and then people listing what the smart thing is that will never happen. "We're fuct" posts don't make me any less fucked, nor do they provide lube for the proverbial fucking. All those examples of what to be mad at just serve to... make me mad. The problem is that the actual news that I want and need to know gets buried in there.

I've been trying to skim them and just pick out important posts.

[Alefroth]

Someone should make a good news thread.

[Octavious]

Honestly it's hard as of late. I think I'm going to spend a bit less time paying attention to every single court case and every little comment. It's just depressing if you focus on it too much.

[Archinerd]

I stayed up until 2 last night, reading about and listening to bands from 1994.
It didn't work, the existential dread is still here.

One thing that mostly works for me is getting together (online) with a couple of childhood friends to play a d&d retroclone (Dungeon Crawl Classics). We've been doing it one night a week for 2 years now. It gives me something to look forward to, an outlet for my creativity without the stress, and a chance to reconnect with friends, some I haven't seen in person for 15 years.

Honestly it's hard as of late. I think I'm going to spend a bit less time paying attention to every single court case and every little comment. It's just depressing if you focus on it too much.

I also give myself permission to do this. I'm not going to have any impact or influence on the day to day details of this stuff. It's a fine line though, if I check out too much I feel guilty that I'm fortunate enough for it to not directly impact me.

[gilraen]

I used to watch news shows almost every day (or catch up on primetime shows while I work). The last couple of months I hardly ever bothered. But for the most part, my brain is too busy solving work problems to worry about existential shit that I can neither control nor avoid.

[LawBeefaroni]

Regular in-person or online drinking sessions. Sitting down and chatting with a friend or two has been my refuge. Also online gaming. Deep Rock Galactic was a godsend.

Shooting bullets into targets. Extremely cathartic and empowering (in the sense that I can still do it rather well despite being an old).

Putting the phone in another room and spending time with the kids.

Putting the kids in another room and spending time with the wife. Haven't had a babysitter or night out for what, 2 years?

Working on the volunteer board of a neighborhood organization. Has helped me focus hyper locally rather than big picture. Have developed some great relationships with local business owners and politicians.

[hitbyambulance]

Working on the volunteer board of a neighborhood organization. Has helped me focus hyper locally rather than big picture. Have developed some great relationships with local business owners and politicians.

i think this is the answer here

[Skinypupy]

Putting the kids in another room and spending time with the wife.

Putting the kids and wife in another room and spending time with my phone.

[Blackhawk]

Deep Rock Galactic was a godsend.

Karl would approve of this.

[coopasonic]

Putting the kids in another room and spending time with the wife.

Putting the kids and wife in another room on the headphones and spending time with my phone PC.

[Archinerd]

Rock n' Stone, to the bone.

[LordMortis]

I'm about to quit my job and go further into seclusion and start focusing on my health and my house. We'll see how well that works.

[Carpet_pissr]

Journaling. I know it might sound like new agey mamby pamby bs but I’ve heard/read more than a few actual psych experts who recommend this, and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t truly work. I assume WMMV, but talk about cathartic. Wooooo!

Highly recommend it to anyone that feels too much ‘in their head’ if you know what I mean.

[Kraken]