Octopus Overlords

I felt like I needed to admit this to someone, so here goes. I bought that Power Wash Simulator game.

Why? I like power washing stuff (or pressure washing, as we call it in my neck of the woods) in real life, so I guess that's part of the appeal. However, it's also a hell of a lot of work, and every time I pressure wash something it's fun for about 5 minutes and then I realize it's hard work and it sucks.

I'd like to tell you the game flips all this on its head, but it's such an accurate representation of pressure washing that it kind of follows the same pattern. My hand even hurts from gripping the mouse, just like my hand hurts from gripping the handle of the pressure washer. It's the first game I've played that accurately translates the physical pain from the real-world action into the PC game.

You start out with a basic model with a standard set of nozzles, but can buy more things as you earn money from jobs. Jobs are typically big projects - an entire house, an entire yard, etc. But you get paid in an itemized fashion for each thing you clean, so you can potentially buy new stuff as you go along without having to complete the entire job first.

A meter shows how much you have left to do on every object in the game, and you'll get a satisfying flash and "DING" when you 100% something. You can also hit Tab to briefly highlight any dirty spots you missed. You don't necessarily have to get every single speck - as long you you complete 99%+ it will "clear" the object and count it as totally clean.

While your standard nozzle and washer can accomplish almost anything, upgrading your stuff will make things go faster. You can buy soaps for various surfaces that will clean large areas with minimal effort, rotating nozzles to get caked on mold, etc. and of course more powerful washers that are REALLY big time savers.

Is it fun? I guess only in the same way real-world power washing is fun. It's more satisfying than anything, and there's a real appeal in just turning on some music, turning off my brain, and getting some stuff clean. The developers even refer to it as "Zen cleaning" so they are aware of its powerful meditative effect.

The game's in early access so they're constantly adding stuff, but I'll give the devs credit - they seem very committed to this game for what it is, and as far as simulators go it's very nicely presented.

You find the strangest games I would never even consider and probably would say "Who even buys this stuff?" if it came up on my feed.

Cheers to your happy!!!

I saw someone mention this on YouTube yesterday and was going to mention it. Apparently it's a super zen game.

The kids absolutely love it which is another thing in its favor. I look it as training for when I eventually hand over an actual pressure washer and say "Get to work."

I spent quite a bit of time cleaning my weapons in Into The Radius (VR). You spray with something like WD40 and use a tooth brush to scrub. When you get fairly clean, you do the last bit with a pipe cleaner (basically) down the barrel.

It was very zen. Especially in VR.

Hey, I like pressure washing too! (But I’ve never even heard it referred to as power washing).

However, I fail to understand/question this part:
“ it's also a hell of a lot of work” ?!

How, exactly? Squeezing the trigger, or moving the lightweight wand back and forth? :p

In terms of work, I would consider pw pretty far down the list, since it’s so automated and requires only a tiny bit of actual effort.

Reminds me of Power Washing Porn on Reddit. Completely safe for work - it's all just pressure and power washing. Sometimes laser or sand blasting. Wednesdays are kind of a free-for-all of whatever kind of cleaning you can find. I'm not ashamed to admit I've probably watched dozens of hours of people washing things by now.

Carpet_pissr wrote:However, I fail to understand/question this part:
“ it's also a hell of a lot of work” ?!

Maybe if you're just doing a driveway. I pressure washed my 2-story house one time which took hours. Moving ladders, lifting that lightweight wand that ceased to be lightweight after 3 hours, getting soaked. It was not fun.

I"ve been playing a lot of "Light Nap Simulator" lately....

I've been in the middle of a project power washing my patio pavers for weeks now. Cleaning them, blowing out all the joints, cleaning all that mud off everything, new joint sand, etc. I have way more pavers than any property should have. Just the thought of doing it virtually gives me the shakes.

YellowKing wrote: ↑Fri Jul 09, 2021 9:06 am

Carpet_pissr wrote:However, I fail to understand/question this part:
“ it's also a hell of a lot of work” ?!

Maybe if you're just doing a driveway. I pressure washed my 2-story house one time which took hours. Moving ladders, lifting that lightweight wand that ceased to be lightweight after 3 hours, getting soaked. It was not fun.

Yeah, for some reason didn’t consider cleaning vertically, and siding. That is def more work than driveway/patio.

I finished all the existing content for this last night (somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 hours or so). Most of that was playing with the kids, as they absolutely loved it. I'd control the movement/rotation/nozzles and let them do the cleaning.

It's still a bit barebones in terms of equipment - there are three washers available with a standard set of nozzles and soaps you can buy, and once you upgrade to a more powerful washer there's no need to go back down to a more basic one. I think it would be interesting if using too powerful a washer could damage the object you're washing to give you some incentive to switch around, but that's probably a bit ambitious.

The developers are consistently working on bug fixes, improvements, and new content and have quite an interactive fan community, so I have high hopes that the game will continue to get better and better as it proceeds through development. Very addictive and definitely got my money's worth.

Carpet_pissr wrote:

YellowKing wrote: ↑Fri Jul 09, 2021 9:06 am

Carpet_pissr wrote:However, I fail to understand/question this part:
“ it's also a hell of a lot of work” ?!

Maybe if you're just doing a driveway. I pressure washed my 2-story house one time which took hours. Moving ladders, lifting that lightweight wand that ceased to be lightweight after 3 hours, getting soaked. It was not fun.

Yeah, for some reason didn’t consider cleaning vertically, and siding. That is def more work than driveway/patio.

As I'm sure this game makes clear, efficient power washing is all about good equipment and technique. I have a small electric unit that I use to wash my deck, sidewalk, car and other small jobs around the house. If I tried using it to clean my entire two-story vinyl siding house, it would mean hours (days?) of hard work either on a ladder (dangerous), or holding an extension above my head (incredibly tiring). Our house was starting to look significantly dirty this summer so I hired a pro to do the job last month. With a high-powered unit and the right soap, he was able to wash the whole house from the ground, without a big extension wand, and had my place looking like new in one hour.

Yep, I only pressure washed my house once. Once.

After that experience, I paid the pros to do it.

This image from the game made me smile:

UPDATE!

I went back to this to see what had changed since I had last completed all my jobs, and man they added a TON of new content! I've been playing this bad boy for the past week, and earned enough money for their new Pro top-end industrial washer which is an absolute dream.

If you haven't jumped on this one yet, I highly recommend it. You may want to wait until March 28 when the Steam sim game sale starts, as I'm sure it will be discounted off its current $20.

I've played this game for over 40 hours. I am not kidding, check my Steam stats. It's gone from my original mediocre review I posted last July to one of my favorite sim games of all time.

Jagged Alliance 3 is coming out in less than a day, but Green Man Gaming has this on sale for $15 and I'm seriously considering grabbing a copy.

Adult life is weird.

Smoove_B wrote: ↑Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:35 pm Jagged Alliance 3 is coming out in less than a day, but Green Man Gaming has this on sale for $15 and I'm seriously considering grabbing a copy.

Adult life is weird.

Go for it!

Because if ever there were a game tailor-made for you, this is it. Picture all of the New Jersey filth and putrescence that you have borne witness to throughout your livelihood; this is the one game that will let you play out your fantasies of cleansing and purifying the lot of it.

The side of my house and my deck legitimately need a power washing, so this feels...very meta to me.

Do it Smoove. I STILL break this game out and play from time to time.

As a VIP member, I was able to figure out a slightly larger discount, making it $15.67 total.

Again, if you told me in 1999 that I'd be excited to play an official version of Jagged Alliance 3 *and* a Power Wash Simulator at the same time? Madness.

I've come to believe that one of the reasons I enjoy puzzles is because they allow me to make order out of chaos. I suspect I'd enjoy something like this for the same reason.

Smoove_B wrote: ↑Thu Jul 13, 2023 7:37 pm Again, if you told me in 1999 that I'd be excited to play an official version of Jagged Alliance 3 *and* a Power Wash Simulator at the same time? Madness.

Smoove_B wrote: ↑Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:59 pm

The side of my house and my deck legitimately need a power washing, so this feels...very meta to me.

Just don’t let your significant other catch you playing at power washing instead of, you know, actually doing it.

My god. Two hours of my life, just melted away. It was wonderful.

Smoove_B wrote: ↑Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:59 pm The side of my house and my deck legitimately need a power washing, so this feels...very meta to me.

I have a feeling that if I got a power washer anywhere near my house, it would wash off all of the siding. And that isn't an exaggeration.

TheMix wrote: ↑Thu Jul 13, 2023 7:43 pm I've come to believe that one of the reasons I enjoy puzzles is because they allow me to make order out of chaos. I suspect I'd enjoy something like this for the same reason.

Likewise. I really enjoyed both Viscera Cleanup Detail and Tank Mechanic Simulator. They are games that sound like busywork, but sometimes busywork is the most peaceful thing in the world.

YellowKing wrote: ↑Fri Jul 09, 2021 9:06 am

Carpet_pissr wrote:However, I fail to understand/question this part:
“ it's also a hell of a lot of work” ?!

Maybe if you're just doing a driveway. I pressure washed my 2-story house one time which took hours. Moving ladders, lifting that lightweight wand that ceased to be lightweight after 3 hours, getting soaked. It was not fun.

I'm at the physical stage where just keeping my arms above my head for an extended period of time is tiring. Add in tension on the hose pulling down plus the recoil from the spray and it would absolutely tire me out.

Sedentary for decades will do this to you. I probably should have noticed earlier.

GreenGoo wrote: ↑Fri Jul 14, 2023 11:51 am Sedentary for decades will do this to you. I probably should have noticed earlier.

Story of my life.