Merry Christmas 2023!

[dbt1949]

Ask her for a bowler hat.

[Isgrimnur]

[Kraken]

Ask her for a bowler hat.

I was a bowler when I was young but I haven't bowled since I stopped being young. I even had some trophies. The thing I don't like about bowler hats is that the ball is so heavy.

[dbt1949]

I just ordered me one.

[em2nought]

Wife wants a puppy, but it seems the going rate for everything she likes is about $4000.

I guess there are breed specific rescue groups that you could try. https://www.dogster.com/lifestyle/dog-b ... ption-tips

I miss having a girl for Christmas. They have so many fun presents to give. maybe I should move to the Philippines and find one.

I imagine there are less creepy ways for you to express this otherwise nice sentiment.

Im sure. Being alone for so long makes my writing of such things more crass lol. I think it one way and type it sorta that way but not quite. I should have typed I miss having a love for Christmas as we can share so much fun and warmth. The moving to the Philippines is still in the back of my mind though .

I think the only way you'd survive in the Philippines is if you were willing to develop a local support system there with actual friends involved. You wouldn't even have your sister over there.

[dbt1949]

Got me a Corgi a couple of months ago from a breeder for $500.

[em2nought]

I wouldn't even consider moving overseas if I didn't have enough assets built up or a hefty pension/social security or both.

[Unagi]

Man, what a fantastic movie. I need to re-re-re-re-rewatch that one of these days while the kids are still on break.

[jztemple2]

Man, what a fantastic movie. I need to re-re-re-re-rewatch that one of these days while the kids are still on break.

? What movie?

[Lassr]

Man, what a fantastic movie. I need to re-re-re-re-rewatch that one of these days while the kids are still on break.

? What movie?

Meet the Robinsons. One of my favorite movies.

[Jeff V]

I think the only way you'd survive in the Philippines is if you were willing to develop a local support system there with actual friends involved. You wouldn't even have your sister over there.

I would potentially have a woman though (friend of wife) who always hints about how we might be more compatible. She is not unattractive, she is a school teacher (so more intellectually compatible), and unlike my wife she likes to drink and even smoke weed (I've not done the latter in decades). Probably not helpful in long-term happiness though. She came for a few days when we were there in June, and while we talked very little, wife glommed onto the vaguest things we did talk about.

[Daehawk]

I wouldn't even consider moving overseas if I didn't have enough assets built up or a hefty pension/social security or both.

Cute and they look good lol.

[dbt1949]

Man, what a fantastic movie. I need to re-re-re-re-rewatch that one of these days while the kids are still on break.

? What movie?

Meet the Robinsons. One of my favorite movies.

Especially the Mrs.

[em2nought]

I would potentially have a woman though (friend of wife) who always hints about how we might be more compatible. She is not unattractive, she is a school teacher (so more intellectually compatible)

Isn't there "no divorce" in the Philippines? You might get the school teacher thrown in jail. From everything I've read it sounds like you did pretty good for yourself in the wife department. If I was looking I'd maybe offer to take the wife off your hands if you could throw in a little dowry? Maybe I'd end up the future "Mr. Imelda Marcos" since the wife seems quite ambitious, must be a bit much to keep up.

[Kraken]

I think the only way you'd survive in the Philippines is if you were willing to develop a local support system there with actual friends involved. You wouldn't even have your sister over there.

I would potentially have a woman though (friend of wife) who always hints about how we might be more compatible. She is not unattractive, she is a school teacher (so more intellectually compatible), and unlike my wife she likes to drink and even smoke weed (I've not done the latter in decades). Probably not helpful in long-term happiness though. She came for a few days when we were there in June, and while we talked very little, wife glommed onto the vaguest things we did talk about.

This is my cue to go all misogynistic.

To: Tech Support
Subject: Upgrade problem

Dear Software Engineer,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance ‘n’ Drunk 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77.

I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the UN-install does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error “General protection Fault in module House Security. The UN-installation will abort.” Can you help me, please!!!

Regards,
Desperate User

—————————————————–

Reply: From Tech. Support
Ref: Upgrade problem

Dear User,

This is a very common problem many male users complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to Run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to UN-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under “Warnings-Alimony/Child Support” which was given to you at the time of registration with Wife 1.0.

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\> APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5, which will improve the performance of Wife 1.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[dbt1949]

Fortunately the Wife 1.0 program has an expiration date. Try running it very fast and see if it overheats.

[Unagi]

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\> APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system.

Just put it at the very end of your AUTOEXEC.BAT file.

[Daehawk]

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.

LOL