Depression

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Skinypupy
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Re: Depression

Post by Skinypupy »

Kraken wrote: Tue Feb 21, 2023 4:50 pm If there's a moral in that story, it's "don't let anyone rush you." If you can afford the bills on the empty house, do it on your own timetable. You obviously don't want to draw it out for years...but you could.
That's good advice. Thankfully the house is in excellent shape. There's no major repair work (that we know of) and all we have to do at this point is get stuff out and get it listed.

We have made significant progress and are really just down to the final things now. There's some large furniture that I'll need to pay someone to disassemble, like a cubicle-style desk and a weight machine that I can't for the life of me figure out how to get apart. There's a ton of clothes, shoes, and other random stuff that needs to go to the local thrift center or women's shelter. We need to get a storage unit that we can temporarily put the furniture we're taking but don't have room for until we get our own house cleared out a bit. Need to get a dumpster for everything else. Need to get the house professionally cleaned. Etc, etc.

None of those things are overwhelming by themselves, but they all take time, energy, and planning that I simply don't feel like I have to give. Combined with everything else that we've had to do (life insurance, bank accounts, utilities, taxes, probate filings, etc.) it's starting to pile up and take it's toll. My hope is that I can just put my head down and barrel through to get the house done over the next few weeks. Getting that cleaned out and on the market will be a huge relief while I deal with the rest of the paperwork.

Besides, I really want to be rid of it before I have to worry about spring/summer yard maintenance. And before my summer SAD hits (most people get it in the winter, but mine hits with an absolute vengeance in consistently hot weather).
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Re: Depression

Post by dfs »

Skinypupy wrote: Tue Feb 21, 2023 4:00 pm Met with a realtor yesterday and she "strongly recommended" that we get mom's house all cleaned out, professionally cleaned, and ready to show by mid-March. I about lost my shit. Like...how? How the hell do I find the hours in the day and the energy (both physically and mentally) to do that? The whole estate process has left me feeling completely buried and hopeless and that feeling has started eating into my work life as well.
... My mom was alive with dementia when I was given the task of selling the home I grew up in.

I could have spent hours of my time and much effort trying to maximize the cash from that home. In doing so it would have taken away from my professional life and the time that I was able to spend with her in her new home. I ended up selling the home a bit under the market price in order to get the place out of my hair.

Exchanging a bit of money for the time and peace of mind was well worth it.

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Daehawk
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Re: Depression

Post by Daehawk »

It took me a year or more to handle stuff after my wife passed and I still live here! I think it may be a good thing I dont remember that year except for spots.
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Re: Depression

Post by Kraken »

dfs wrote: Tue Feb 21, 2023 5:37 pm
Exchanging a bit of money for the time and peace of mind was well worth it.

You can't give any more than you can give.
Yup. You can always get more money; you can't ever get more time.
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Re: Depression

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Skinypupy wrote: Tue Feb 21, 2023 4:00 pm I'm so sorry Madmarcus. :(
Thank you.

She has had a good life and a great year after she nearly died at this point last year. Plus I'm now back in the area which feels better than half way around the world did last year.
Skinypupy wrote: Tue Feb 21, 2023 4:00 pm I have been really struggling with trying to manage all of the estate stuff as well, which is entirely fucking overwhelming.
I saw my wife go through that as her dad's executor (and only surviving child). I can sympathize; it is overwhelming.
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Re: Depression

Post by Madmarcus »

Continuing the derail away from depression. :D

I'm glad that my mom and dad moved to a CCRC just about 3 years ago and my MIL moved to one 2 months ago. They had all downsized already but selfishly I enjoy the peace of mind in knowing that there won't be any dealing with real estate when they pass. My siblings and I have already divided most of the belonging we care about and Dad should leave a large enough estate that it can pay for a company to deal with the furnishings that we collectively have no attachment to. The furnishings from my MIL will be more of an issue as some of them are family things but my wife is very practical and I'm sure we will manage to not be overwhelmed with new stuff to store.
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Re: Depression

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I was accepted into a blind trial contrasting electroconvulsive therapy with magnetic seizure therapy for my depression and had my first treatment today. It went pretty well, but I feel like I was run over by a truck. Maybe a Maverick rather than an F-150, but still, I hurt. But thankfully there's been no impact on my memory that I can discern. Of course, it's difficult to test for things I've forgotten... I'll only know if I come across them. But recalling recent experiences and conversations has been no problem. What remains to be seen is how well I'll recall memories made during this period.

I saw a commercial on late night TV. It said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were. -- Mitch Hedberg
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Re: Depression

Post by hepcat »

Good luck, man. I hope it helps you get where you want to be. But be careful!
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Re: Depression

Post by Carpet_pissr »

Sudy wrote: Fri Mar 08, 2024 5:49 am I was accepted into a blind trial contrasting electroconvulsive therapy with magnetic seizure therapy for my depression and had my first treatment today. It went pretty well, but I feel like I was run over by a truck. Maybe a Maverick rather than an F-150, but still, I hurt. But thankfully there's been no impact on my memory that I can discern. Of course, it's difficult to test for things I've forgotten... I'll only know if I come across them. But recalling recent experiences and conversations has been no problem. What remains to be seen is how well I'll recall memories made during this period.
Have you looked into psychadelic trials? Lots of companies in that space currently doing trials, and many are working on compounds that are effective on treatment resistant patients (those who have tried SSRI's and they don't work). An LSD compound just got a "breakthrough designation" by the FDA 2 days ago, meaning they are VERY interested in seeing a successful final Phase III trial and will closely be working with company to make sure it happens. Psilocybin is also being studied for the same treatment (as well as adult ADHD, anxiety and PTSD).
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Re: Depression

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hepcat wrote: Fri Mar 08, 2024 9:36 am Good luck, man. I hope it helps you get where you want to be. But be careful!
Thanks! I have mixed feelings on the subject but I know I'm not where I want to be. Whether this will help me get there, I don't know. But I have to try.

Carpet_pissr wrote: Fri Mar 08, 2024 12:03 pm Have you looked into psychadelic trials? Lots of companies in that space currently doing trials, and many are working on compounds that are effective on treatment resistant patients (those who have tried SSRI's and they don't work). An LSD compound just got a "breakthrough designation" by the FDA 2 days ago, meaning they are VERY interested in seeing a successful final Phase III trial and will closely be working with company to make sure it happens. Psilocybin is also being studied for the same treatment (as well as adult ADHD, anxiety and PTSD).
It's on my radar, and I'm very open to the concept. I believe there's a psilocybin trial going on locally, but every professional I consulted during this process recommended going straight to ECT since I'm eligible for it and it has some of the highest efficacy rates.


I'm feeling a fair bit better today, it's now more of an "I had an extremely intense workout yesterday after not exercising in a year". But I have three days off at the moment; going Monday-Wednesday-Friday might wind up being tough.

I saw a commercial on late night TV. It said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were. -- Mitch Hedberg
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Re: Depression

Post by hitbyambulance »

i have a friend on ketamine treatments - been the only thing that's helped her PTSD so far
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LordMortis
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Re: Depression

Post by LordMortis »

I also have a friend on Ketamine. He's been with it for a while so I'm guessing he thinks there is some value there.
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Re: Depression

Post by Kraken »

I haven't had an opportunity to enjoy psychedelics in many years, but every time I tripped back in the day my head felt clear for weeks to months afterward. It's like they cleared away cobwebs and let my brain spark normally again. I can readily believe in their therapeutic value.
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Re: Depression

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I seriously doubt any place here would or even could give you psychedelics. More a pat on the head and a hearty "You'll be ok"
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Re: Depression

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I've decide to stop taking my "crazy"or neutral medicine. Been three days now and I'm starting to have the weird dreams. Don't feel the pills are helping and don't feel like going to the VA.
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Re: Depression

Post by Kraken »

Depending on how weird your dreams are, the pills might have been working. Weird dreams are entertaining until they become concerning.
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Re: Depression

Post by stessier »

There are also some anti-depressants that shouldn't be stopped cold turkey but should be weaned.
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Re: Depression

Post by Freyland »

By "some", it means all of them except fluoxetine.
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Re: Depression

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stessier wrote: Mon Mar 11, 2024 9:04 am There are also some anti-depressants that shouldn't be stopped cold turkey but should be weaned.
Yeah. Every cocktail they put me on, especially SSRIs, and most of all Wellburtin came with severe withdraw, even as the meds themselves had too many negative head space effects. Wellbutrin, again, sent me in to my first ever panic attack and then getting off it was months and months of withdraw, forcing me to discover Alprazolam. That was when I gave up and decided no more head meds for me. I want to say it was three plus years of misery, weening from one cocktail to another, usually at about six month turnaround to get withdraw out of my system for one and the other built in my system before moving to the next. It might have been more than three years. Fortunately, the last time I had my Alprazolam filled was in 2018.

The best I ever found was Modafinil and that was not without enough side effects (jaw clenching and teeth grinding unto pain and damage being the worst) that I was not eager to stay on it. It did clear my head, provide focus though. That had the desired result of me feeling a bit less stressed and lightened up the all too frequent bad moods.

Others are ecstatic they find the right meds. I don't see a situation where I go through the ringer trying to discover the right meds again. I'll wait for genetic mapping and/or neuro research to give a better picture of individual biologies before I'm willing to through those sort of motions again. If it doesn't happen in my lifetime, I'm as OK with that as I can be.
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Re: Depression

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I was prescribed modafinil as a stimulant for my depression at one point. I didn't find it helped much. I wound up taking it a lot on night shift, which is something it's also frequently prescribed for anyway.

As of a few weeks ago I'm off all mood drugs for the first time in nearly a decade. Given what I was taking this was necessary in advance of beginning the ECT/MST treatment. Lamotrigine/Lamictal withdrawal wasn't pleasant but it was manageable. Not as bad as most SSRIs I've discontinued.

Even now being off medication I have very little awareness of how it affected me. I've always struggled with that. Mood-wise I'm not doing great, but I don't feel incredibly worse either. There are just so many moving parts.

I received genetic testing for drug metabolism at one point but it didn't seem super helpful.

Side-effects-wise the only drugs I have no tolerance for are some the anti-psychotic class mood stabilizers I've tried. Restlessness like you couldn't believe.

I saw a commercial on late night TV. It said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were. -- Mitch Hedberg
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Re: Depression

Post by Sudy »

I will say that waking up from anesthesia and not being able to remember what year it is is disconcerting. Luckily that didn't last long. I could remember what year I was born. I had a good idea how old I was. But there was a foggy jumble where 2027 was supposed to be.

I saw a commercial on late night TV. It said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were. -- Mitch Hedberg
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Re: Depression

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stessier wrote: Mon Mar 11, 2024 9:04 am There are also some anti-depressants that shouldn't be stopped cold turkey but should be weaned.
As a former Paxil prescribee, this is gospel. Paxil has some of the worst withdrawal symptoms of any of them (the FDA described them as 'severe'), I was on a high dose at the time (~22 years ago), and then... my insurance cut me off, without warning. Congratulations, enjoy two weeks in bed in the dark.

(This is why, by the way, that I always fill medications with withdrawal symptoms one day early, then put the extra one back. Even after a year, a dozen of them is enough for three weeks of tapering.)
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Re: Depression

Post by Daehawk »

All these stores are partly why i wont do brain meds.
Sudy wrote: Mon Mar 11, 2024 2:18 pm I will say that waking up from anesthesia and not being able to remember what year it is is disconcerting. Luckily that didn't last long. I could remember what year I was born. I had a good idea how old I was. But there was a foggy jumble where 2027 was supposed to be.
I usually wake up pretty well. They gave me Propofol for one of my stone blastings and when they were done and turned it off I was awake before they could wheel me out of the blacking machine room. Next room i got dressed and was ready to leave but they made me sit and wait 10 min. I might could have driven but that would have been doubtful as I barely remember my wife driving me home. But i do remember her stopping at a McDonalds and me ordering fries :)
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Re: Depression

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For the last couple of weeks I have a tendency to wake up after a deep sleep and not know who I am or where I'm at. Within a few minutes I usually orient my self okay but it is kind of weird for a few minutes.
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Re: Depression

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Daehawk wrote: Mon Mar 11, 2024 3:24 pm All these stores are partly why i wont do brain meds.
Here's another story:

When I was trying to learn how to deal with my depression, I was miserable. I was lonely, all the time. I was sad. I felt like I had no purpose at all, and days were just 'wake up, survive, go to sleep.' Nothing I did was fun. There was nothing I really looked forward to. And if anything went wrong, it felt like the world had ended. I had no idea how to get out of that, no idea how to get control of my brain again.

I met my first wife. The first thing she did was get me in to see someone about what I was experiencing. They put me on meds (Wellbutrin), and began therapy.

The therapist wasn't a good match for me (although I didn't know that at the time), but the medicine toned down the way I was feeling. I felt enthusiasm again, and I actually wanted to do things. It wasn't a cure, but it turned it down enough that I was able to start to understand how I reacted, and was able to start to get control over it. In retrospect, a therapist that was a better fit for me would have kickstarted that process, and would have sped it up considerably. I could have been back to (my) normal in a year or two instead of it taking a decade and costing me a marriage, but I still wouldn't have even gotten that far if it weren't for the medication I was on for the first couple of years.
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Re: Depression

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Daehawk wrote: Mon Mar 11, 2024 3:24 pm All these stores are partly why i wont do brain meds.
i think some people were being a big ol' baby about these fears, *including* myself. let me explain:

i was resistant to taking brain meds for YEARS due to these fears. when i finally decided to try them, it took three attempts to find a suitable medication for me. of all the meds i tried, only Bupoprion (Wellbutrin) gave me somewhat acute side effects, and they might have disappeared after a few more weeks, but i couldn't deal (it was my first attempt on medication). the two other SSRIs i tried - Escitalopram (Lexapro), Fluoxetine (Prozac) - low libido and that's about it, and they worked. (if you wanted to live as an asexual, they're a godsend!) since i didn't like that side effect, we went to SNRIs - which i believe people who complain about SSRIs have not tried - and i found both Desvenafaxine (Pristiq) and Vilazodone (Viibryd) BOTH work for me, without any noticeable side effects! and i can say i'm living a much better life now. goes without saying that is well worth a FEW WEEKS of discomfort in the quest to find the right medication. so stop being a baby.

also keep in mind if you live in a state that allows it, you can go on ketamine (or even psychedelics) if you're truly resistant to standard brain medication.

and i think it is a problem that health professionals don't start with SNRIs FIRST - i think brain meds would have a much better reputation if this were the case, due to their lower amount of side effects!! unfortunately they are more expensive, which is the _entire_ reason that SSRIs are prescribed first as a 'front-line' medication.
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Re: Depression

Post by Carpet_pissr »

Thanks for that. I need to suggest that to my doc. Lexapro helped a bit, but it’s not doing it for me.
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Re: Depression

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hitbyambulance wrote: Mon Mar 11, 2024 4:27 pm the two other SSRIs i tried - Escitalopram (Lexapro), Fluoxetine (Prozac) - low libido and that's about it, and they worked. (if you wanted to live as an asexual, they're a godsend!)
:think:

I wonder if I could suggest that to my doctor... in the situation I'm in, turning my sex drive off (or down) would be a genuine boon.
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Re: Depression

Post by Kraken »

Blackhawk wrote: Tue Mar 12, 2024 12:53 am
hitbyambulance wrote: Mon Mar 11, 2024 4:27 pm the two other SSRIs i tried - Escitalopram (Lexapro), Fluoxetine (Prozac) - low libido and that's about it, and they worked. (if you wanted to live as an asexual, they're a godsend!)
:think:

I wonder if I could suggest that to my doctor... in the situation I'm in, turning my sex drive off (or down) would be a genuine boon.
I don't miss my libido. Wellbutrin will shut that right down.
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Re: Depression

Post by Freyland »

Welbutrin is supposed to actually be beneficial that way, not detrimental. Too bad it makes me cranky as fuck.
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Re: Depression

Post by Carpet_pissr »

Kraken wrote: Fri Mar 08, 2024 10:07 pm I haven't had an opportunity to enjoy psychedelics in many years, but every time I tripped back in the day my head felt clear for weeks to months afterward. It's like they cleared away cobwebs and let my brain spark normally again. I can readily believe in their therapeutic value.
Now backed by science, the FDA, and multiple clinical trials far exceeding their endpoints.

To wit, the most recent one granted breakthrough status by the FDA was a single dose of purified LSD to tread General Anxiety Disorder. Compared to standard of care of daily dosing...and 4-6 week ramp up (think Lexapro): one pill...day after improvement, none of the nasty side effects like libido, weight gain, etc. AND...here's the kicker - efficacy to TWELVE weeks compared to placebo. One pill...twelve weeks...imagine that. Going to be a gamechanger if it gets approved. Starting Phase III trials in the next several months.

On a sad note, this same company's attempt at treating adult ADHD with LSD microdosing did not beat the placebo, so ...booooo. That was actually one I was most interested in.

I wish I could get into some of these trials! LSD, psilocybin, whatever...but I will pass on the coke and heroin ones, thankyouverymuch.
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Re: Depression

Post by gilraen »

John Oliver had an episode on psychedelic assisted therapy last year. Some very interesting research.
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Re: Depression

Post by Carpet_pissr »

gilraen wrote: Mon Mar 25, 2024 2:59 pm John Oliver had an episode on psychedelic assisted therapy last year. Some very interesting research.
Excellent! I had not seen that, thanks for sharing.
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Re: Depression

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I'm beginning to think that the only difference between me and the dog around here is they let him out of the house a couple of times a day.
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Re: Depression

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Start peeing on the carpet.
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Re: Depression

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Don't have carpet. They got tired of me peeing on it.
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Re: Depression

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dbt1949 wrote: Mon Apr 08, 2024 6:22 pm Don't have carpet. They got tired of me peeing on it.
:wub: :wub:
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