Octopus Overlords

You know life hacks — the little shortcuts, tips, and tricks that make life easier or more pleasant in some small way. The ones you run across online are often ridiculous or just plain wrong, and sometimes humorous. Those are fun and welcome here, but I’d like to collect real ones.

For example:

When heating something in the microwave that’s prone to splattering, such as tomato sauce, loosely place a coffee filter over it as a lid. This works best with the round basket filters, rather than the cones, although you can separate those at the seam and use them, too. The paper won’t affect heating and is easily disposed of after use.

Whatcha got?

The gas gauge on your car has an arrow pointing to the gas cap.

Bleach bottles have a warning on their side that you shouldn’t drink it.

Coffee filters are also great for wiping mirrors or window glass, since they don't leave lint behind.

The Marine Roll (mighty handy when travelling light) and 2-second T-Shirt Fold, as illustrated here:

Buy your undershirts in "Tall" even if you're not especially tall. This ensures that they'll stay tucked in regardless of how you move.

Use a shoehorn with all shoes, even sneakers. The back-ankle support will last much longer.

Choose a single brand of black socks and a single brand of white socks and stick with them for years. This saves a lot of sorting time when you do laundry.

Wash your shirts and pants in cold water and hang them to dry: they'll last much longer. For collared shirts, hang them with the top button unbuttoned and spread/straighten the collar to dry "open"--that way they won't feel stiff and close to your neck when you put them on. (And if you have to wear a tie for some reason, all is still well.)

If you carry a shoulder bag over your right hip, carry your wallet in your left-rear pocket (or vice-versa). A satchel rubbing against a wallet on the same side will wear down and damage any jacket/pants fabric in between.

Have one consistent place to park your keys, wallet, watch, phone, sunglasses, etc. Train yourself this way, and you'll never waste time looking for them or wondering if they're lost.

Don't just keep a To-Do list. Also keep a Done list. (Copy/Paste items from one to the other when completed.) This helps when you need to account for your performance, especially in a professional context. But it's also just nice to have personally.

Kraken wrote: ↑Tue Jul 18, 2023 6:44 pm You know life hacks — the little shortcuts, tips, and tricks that make life easier or more pleasant in some small way. The ones you run across online are often ridiculous or just plain wrong, and sometimes humorous. Those are fun and welcome here, but I’d like to collect real ones.

For example:

When heating something in the microwave that’s prone to splattering, such as tomato sauce, loosely place a coffee filter over it as a lid. This works best with the round basket filters, rather than the cones, although you can separate those at the seam and use them, too. The paper won’t affect heating and is easily disposed of after use.

Whatcha got?

I bought a couple of covers from Amazon for that. A bacon one and a big round one that covers everything else. Altho I suppose an all glass pot and pan lid would work too.

We got one of these at Home Depot a few years ago. It's magnetic, so you can just store it stuck to the "ceiling" inside the microwave:

One that I came up with myself: Cut the top off a plastic gallon milk jug (the spout and surrounding plastic), leaving the handle. Now you have a disposable container for kitchen scraps while you’re cooking. You can take it out to the compost bin and empty it after dinner, or whenever you do your next kitchen cleanup. It’s good for 2-3 uses before it gets nasty and goes into the recycle bin.

When you have to remember to take something with you when you leave home, prop the garage door open such that it rests on the deadbolt. I use this when the item is in the refrigerator and I can't just leave it in the car.

Cut off the top 1/4 of a 2L soda bottle and you have a nice funnel for free.

Cut your fabric softener sheets in half as a half is all you need per load.

Keep a washcloth under your mouth on a pillow to keep from drenching your pillow with drool.

Duck tape is for waterproofing*. Gaffer's tape works better for almost any other duck tape need - stronger material, stronger adhesive, doesn't degrade, and doesn't leave nasty residue.

*Which is why it was originally called 'duck' tape - 'duct' came later, and ducks are better than ducts anyway.

I always just use a paper towel over stuff in the microwave...when I think about it.

Daehawk wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 3:59 am I always just use a paper towel over stuff in the microwave...when I think about it.

I usually use a free napkin from some fast food joint.

If you have a fairly small size filter on your central air conditioner you might be able to buy a bigger size for the same price, and then cut the larger filter in half.

Cheap Dollar Tree oven cleaner & a brush work extremely well to clean grout, but don't get your nose too close to it.

hepcat wrote: ↑Tue Jul 18, 2023 8:29 pm Bleach bottles have a warning on their side that you shouldn’t drink it.

But what if I'm looking at the other side?

When I was in the office and had a closet full of button down shirts, I used to reverse the hanger when I hung shirts back up that I had worn recently. That way I could tell which shirts I had worn recently and which I had not.

That way I could more evenly wear my clothes and not get stuck on a "favorite shirt." And for the shirts I seemed to never choose to wear, I got rid of them.

Now that I work from home I just wear workout clothes every day so none of this matters anymore.

YellowKing wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 11:33 am
That way I could more evenly wear my clothes and not get stuck on a "favorite shirt."

Speaking of "favorite shirt," I had one that I literally wore to death until it deteriorated down to a Doc Savage level. One year I wore it to open the door on Halloween, and the trick or treaters asked me, "What happened to your shirt?"

Few years ago Wife’s family held a reunion. They played videos from the previous reunion, 20+ years earlier. I was wearing the same shirt. I made a point of wearing it again for my passport photo a few months ago.

All of my button-down shirts are from the 1980s to early 2000s. Fortunately men’s fashions don’t change much. When I wore my collarless black shirt (my "priest shirt") recently I was told that it’s back in style.

I thought of two really good life hacks while I was out, but I forgot them by the time I got home.

Here's one that my mother could have used her entire life. When you boil water on the stove, placing the lid on the pot should cut the time needed to boil dramatically.

em2nought wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:46 pm Here's one that my mother could have used her entire life. When you boil water on the stove, placing the lid on the pot should cut the time needed to boil dramatically.

Speaking of which, the belief that cold water boils faster is a myth that I still hear from time to time. The hotter the water, the faster the boil.

A "writing process" tip that I used to give my students, but one that I think has wide applicability:

If you have a task or assignment coming up on a deadline, do some loose brainstorming and initial jotting long before you think you actually have to start serious/dedicated work on it. Make yourself imagine what it will take to complete it. Put your mind in the space of solving the problem before there's real pressure to do so.

Do this, and your brain will work on the thing even before you expect results. You'll get sudden ideas while walking the dog or driving or working out, or even in the middle of the night, all because you primed yourself to think about the thing earlier than necessary.

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:49 pm

em2nought wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:46 pm Here's one that my mother could have used her entire life. When you boil water on the stove, placing the lid on the pot should cut the time needed to boil dramatically.

Speaking of which, the belief that cold water boils faster is a myth that I still hear from time to time. The hotter the water, the faster the boil.

What I have heard is that hot water freezes faster because the atoms are moving faster.

Jaymann wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:47 pm

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:49 pm

em2nought wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:46 pm Here's one that my mother could have used her entire life. When you boil water on the stove, placing the lid on the pot should cut the time needed to boil dramatically.

Speaking of which, the belief that cold water boils faster is a myth that I still hear from time to time. The hotter the water, the faster the boil.

What I have heard is that hot water freezes faster because the atoms are moving faster.

Which is true (the first half at least), but only under specific conditions - very, very cold conditions, the right volume and surface area. But even then, cold water still freezes faster than hot. That's the bit that the stories always get wrong. What's true is that hot water can freeze faster than warm water, but not faster than cold. The actual reasons are more complex (faster evaporation leading to a different cooling process, the movement of the water due to the temperature differential resulting in it freezing differently, and others.)

Obviously it is due to a particle velocity distribution function that significantly deviates from the Maxwell-Boltzmann distribution.


Unrelated, I’ve never ever heard the ‘myth’ that cold water boils faster.

What about some psychology hacks? This has always been an interest of mine since I started out as a psychology major before veering sharply into computer science once I figured out I'd rather solve problems with machines than with people.

One that my mom drilled into me from a very early age was the old " kill 'em with kindness." A trick that is often far easier said than done, especially in the heat of the moment, but one which pays huge dividends.

I had ample opportunity to practice this when working retail, and it never failed. However, my biggest success wasn't with the public, it was with a particular co-worker. I was working at a department store in the catalog/gift-wrap department.

This lady was almost a textbook definition of the "mean old spinster" - I mean straight out of central casting. Pushing 70, beaked nose, hair pulled back in a tight bun, always walking around with a scowl on her face, and completely intolerant towards us folks in their 20s working alongside her. Nobody could stand her and hated working with her, because she'd criticize you for even the slightest mistake.

I made it my project to get along with this lady, so from the very start I took mom's advice and killed her with kindness. Always had a good morning for her even if she didn't say it back. When she criticized something I did, I asked her to show me the "right" way to do it and complimented her on her knowledge. And when I had the opportunity, I asked her about her life. Turns out her husband died and she went back to work to give herself something to do. A lot of that bitterness and coldness was just loneliness, and she was controlling through work what she couldn't control in her personal life.

It took a few weeks, but it wasn't long before we were over there wrapping gifts and joking around and cutting up. My co-workers were absolutely dumbfounded.

A little kindness works for most people. I had customers who were yelling at me one minute return later bringing me cookies. People, like kids and animals, just need attention. And if you can figure out how to give them that attention in a positive way vs a negative way, it's like magic.

I took the experiences from that retail job and I've applied it to every single job I've ever been. While my days working with the public, in hindsight, were quite hellish, I wouldn't trade the lessons learned from it for the world.

hepcat wrote: ↑Tue Jul 18, 2023 8:29 pm Bleach bottles have a warning on their side that you shouldn’t drink it.

Yeah but what if I want to inject it to kill the Covid?

YellowKing wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 9:47 am
I had ample opportunity to practice this when working retail, and it never failed.

I used to call that being “relentlessly cheerful,” and you’re right, it disarmed a lot of rude, overbearing customers. It was hard to muster consistently, though, because it's not my natural personality.

My recommendations as a call center manager was that it would calm them down or make them even madder, which then made it funny for us.

Holman wrote: ↑Tue Jul 18, 2023 9:14 pm Choose a single brand of black socks and a single brand of white socks and stick with them for years. This saves a lot of sorting time when you do laundry.

I do this but I change the brand/style every few years because otherwise you have a brand new sock and an old worn out sock.

I do something similar with silverware and dishes. I never buy a set. I buy a basic brand (Corelle frost white for dishes) that you can get outside of a set. Then if you break 2 plates you can buy two more. Silverware is the same but rather than getting broken, the kids lose the small forks and small spoons.

When parking, pull forward until the license plate of the car in front of you has just disappeared. This leaves you with just the right amount of space in front.

Always have a spare shirt and pants at work in case you spill mustard on your shirt at lunch.

Get apple tags for your keys so it doesn't matter where you (or your significant other) put them. They also make a cheap tracker for your dog or cat.

Kraken wrote:It was hard to muster consistently, though, because it's not my natural personality.

Mine either. However, my brother is an absolute master at it. He has been doing theater since he was a kid (he's now 45), so all he has to do is go into acting mode and he can charm anyone.

YellowKing wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 11:55 am

Kraken wrote:It was hard to muster consistently, though, because it's not my natural personality.

Mine either. However, my brother is an absolute master at it. He has been doing theater since he was a kid (he's now 45), so all he has to do is go into acting mode and he can charm anyone.

Here's a psychology hack that helps immeasurably, all the more so in your neck of the woods: have a British accent if/when turning on the charm in the U.S. -- it's akin to a bona fide freebie +10 CHA boost.

But alas, broadly speaking, Americans as a whole -- including professional actors -- seem almost universally abysmal at pulling off convincing British accents.

Hold the thread still. Move the needle.

Hold the thread between finger and tumb with just a little bit of thread showing, maybe a quarter inch. Then put the needle into the thread. You can immediatly roll your finger and thumb, pinching the thread on the other side, and move the needle futher along the thread, now thats its on the other side of your finger and thumb.

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 12:29 pm

YellowKing wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 11:55 am

Kraken wrote:It was hard to muster consistently, though, because it's not my natural personality.

Mine either. However, my brother is an absolute master at it. He has been doing theater since he was a kid (he's now 45), so all he has to do is go into acting mode and he can charm anyone.

Here's a psychology hack that helps immeasurably, all the more so in your neck of the woods: have a British accent if/when turning on the charm in the U.S. -- it's akin to a bona fide freebie +10 CHA boost.

But alas, broadly speaking, Americans as whole -- including profession actors -- seem almost universally abysmal at pulling off convincing British accents.

Brilliant!

I told my daughter I was going to slowly turn British.

I suggested she take a butcher in a few weeks and see if she can tell.
I also said I was going to end every nice conversation with, “Brilliant!”
She sarcastically wished me luck.
I told her to bugger off.

Unagi wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 1:29 pm I told her to bugger off.

Hopefully followed immediately by "See? Brilliant!"

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 12:29 pm But alas, broadly speaking, Americans as whole -- including profession actors -- seem almost universally abysmal at pulling off convincing British accents.

Since the goal here is to convince other Americans, I think the accuracy is less important than consistency.

It does seem like a great idea though.

Unagi wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 1:29 pm

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 12:29 pm

YellowKing wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 11:55 am

Kraken wrote:It was hard to muster consistently, though, because it's not my natural personality.

Mine either. However, my brother is an absolute master at it. He has been doing theater since he was a kid (he's now 45), so all he has to do is go into acting mode and he can charm anyone.

Here's a psychology hack that helps immeasurably, all the more so in your neck of the woods: have a British accent if/when turning on the charm in the U.S. -- it's akin to a bona fide freebie +10 CHA boost.

But alas, broadly speaking, Americans as whole -- including profession actors -- seem almost universally abysmal at pulling off convincing British accents.

Brilliant!

I told my daughter I was going to slowly turn British.

I suggested she take a butcher in a few weeks and see if she can tell.
I also said I was going to end every nice conversation with, “Brilliant!”
She sarcastically wished me luck.
I told her to bugger off.

Just try to avoid slang for cigarettes and your mates.

I mentioned this in a different thread, but it makes sense to put it here, too. Even before I started getting weird memory issues I was infamously absent-minded. I figured out a few tricks to keep from forgetting things I need to do.

1. I have a 'memory bottle.' All it is is a big, blue decorative wine bottle, but it could be anything large. The process is simple: If I just need a reminder to do something (IE - I'll remember what needs done, but may forget to actually do it), I put the bottle somewhere impossible to miss. Something to do before bed? Put it on my pillow. Before I leave? Put it in front of the door (or hang my keys from it.) Need to do it in the morning? Set it on the counter. The rule is that I can never move the bottle until whatever task it's for is done/started. The whole point is for it to be in the way. I'm not likely to go to sleep with a 14" glass bottle on my pillow without noticing it.
1a. A quick bonus - if the thing I need to remember is more complex, I will take a small piece of paper, roll it up, and stick it in the lip of the bottle.

2. This is very similar to #1. If I absolutely need to take something with me when I leave (a letter, something to take to someone, whatever), I put my keys under/in/around it. Since I'm unlikely to drive off without my keys, I'm unlikely to forget the item.

Unagi wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 1:29 pm Brilliant!

I told my daughter I was going to slowly turn British.

I suggested she take a butcher in a few weeks and see if she can tell.
I also said I was going to end every nice conversation with, “Brilliant!”
She sarcastically wished me luck.
I told her to bugger off.

Now remember, you do not take a butcher's, it's always have a butcher's. Bonus points if you drop yer H's completely -- e.g. Bloody 'ell, 'ave a butcher's at this! -- for greater cockney authenticity.

You can see this demonstrated along with other vital essentials to the cockney accent by the helpful Jason Statham-ish bloke below:

Brilliant!

Unagi wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 6:12 pmBrilliant!

It is, in't?