Octopus Overlords

But I get to go first. My daughter is at a great age now and I just have to share.

(fade in to a car 10 minutes from the house after a play date)

kidtessier 3.7: Mommy, I have to go potty.
mrstessier: Can you wait until we get home?
kidtessier 3.7: Yes

(5 minutes pass - car is surrounded by cornfields)

kidtessier 3.7: Mommy, I really have to go potty now.
mrstessier: Can you wait until we get home?
kidtessier 3.7: No.

(Car quickly pulls over into a field. Wife and daughter get out of the car. Wife pulls down daughters pants.)

mrstessier: Okay, go ahead. I'll help hold you.
kidtessier 3.7: (Looking down)I can go pee-pee in the grass?
mrstessier: Yes.
kidtessier 3.7: (Looking quizzically at my wife) Like a doggie?
mrstessier: Yes.
kidtessier 3.7: That's okay, Mommy. I can wait until we get home. Let's go.

*******

(During dinner)

kidtessier 3.7: Daddy, what do you call someone as old as Mommy.
stessier: You call them an "Old Coot". (Wife looks daggers at me)
kidtessier 3.7: And what do you call someone as old as you?
mrstessier: (Speaking up quickly) You call them an "Old Coot" too.
kidtessier 3.7: (Looking at me and laughing) I love you, you Old Coot!!

*******

(While making dinner)

kidtessier 3.7: Daddy, I want Mommy to finish making my dinner.
stessier: Why? I'm almost done with it and then you can eat.
kidtessier 3.7: I like her better and I want her to make it.
stessier: (Wife looks at me smuggly) That's okay - I know you don't mean it. You're just saying that because Mommy is here.
kidtessier 3.7: What Daddy?
stessier: (Wife still grinning) I said that I know you don't mean that and only said it because you can see Mommy.
kidtessier 3.7: I can't hear you Daddy.
stessier: I was just saying that...
kidtessier 3.7: (Cutting me off) Daddy, are you talking to yourself again?

*******

(Driving in a car)

kidtessier 3.7: Daddy, where are we going?
stessier: We're going to Target.
kidtessier 3.7: Why?
stessier: Because we have to do some shopping and Mommy has to pick up a few things.
kidtessier 3.7: Where are we going?
stessier: We're going to Target.
kidtessier 3.7: To Target?
stessier: Yes.
kidtessier 3.7: But where are we going?
stessier: (beginning to lose patience) I just said we were going to Target.
kidtessier 3.7: But where are we going?
stessier: (patience gone as we turn into the Target parking lot) I SAID WE ARE...
kidtessier 3.7: (Cutting me off) Ooooh, look Daddy, Target!!

I can't wait until my little one is old enough to talk. Or wait, maybe I can!

She has learned to say "Mama" (and knows what it means). She has just started to say "Dada" and "Dad-dee" randomly, so I'm hoping it won't be long before she associates it with me.

If she is even half as hilarious when she's talking as she is now making noises and squealing randomly, she is going to keep me laughing for a long time.

We actually keep a "quote book" - a journal in the kitchen of cute things that the kids have said. It's actually getting close to full and we're going to need a "volume 2" pretty soon. It's fun to sometimes flip back through it together.

10 years ago:

Stopping at Wal Mart to pick up supplies for a weekend at the lake:

lassrgirl 4.10: Don't forget my Scooby fishing pool.

lassr: OK, sweetie. We'll get you one.

<shopping for about 30 minutes then get in car>

lassrgirl 4.10: Well shit, we forget my fishing pole!

lassr & lassrwife:

Sith Lord wrote:We actually keep a "quote book" - a journal in the kitchen of cute things that the kids have said. It's actually getting close to full and we're going to need a "volume 2" pretty soon. It's fun to sometimes flip back through it together.

I should have done this. I've forgotten most of the funny ones, even a few I've sent to Bill Harris. He put them in his blog so they are on record there at least.

Not my kid but my nephew (when he was 4):

Nephew West: Dad, can I poop in the back yard?
Brother-in-Law West: Ummm....no. Why do you want to poop in the yard?
Nephew West: Flies like poop and frogs like flies and I want a frog.

We family blog a lot of the weird sayings that come out of our kids' mouths. Some of the things they come up with, well...you know.

I had this conversation with my son when he was about 4.5 after I asked him jokingly if he was deaf (he kept saying "what? what?")

Son: "Who's Deaf?"
Me: "No, I mean are you deaf?"
Son: "Who's Deaf?"
Me: "No, it means can you not hear me."
Son: "What?"
Me: "IT MEANS CAN YOU NOT HEAR ME."
Son: "Deaf means I can't hear you?"
Me: "Yes."
Son: "Oh, no I can't hear you."
Me: "So you are deaf."
Son: "What?"

I also overheard this conversation once between my son and one of my best friends. They were talking about Star Wars and how Darth Maul killed Qui-Gon at the end of Episode I.

Son: "Darth Maul was a bad guy, wasn't he?"
Friend: "Yes, he was."
Son: "And he killed Qui-Gon Jinn in the movie?"
Friend: "Yes, he did. That wasn't a very nice thing to do, was it?"
Son: "Yeah but he's a bad guy. It's his RESPONSIBILITY."

YellowKing wrote:I can't wait until my little one is old enough to talk. Or wait, maybe I can!

MY son is closing in on four now and oneof the most commonly heard things in our house is: "Remember when he couldn't talk? Good times."

coopasonic wrote:

YellowKing wrote:I can't wait until my little one is old enough to talk. Or wait, maybe I can!

MY son is closing in on four now and oneof the most commonly heard things in our house is: "Remember when he couldn't talk? Good times."

Agreed!

When I first met my wife and we were dating, I used to chuckle because whenever she did something, she was always humming a song. There was no quiet time - I told her it was like her life had a soundtrack.

For my daughter, it is a director's commentary track. She tell us where's she's going, what she's currently doing, what she's thinking, what her Buddies (stuffed animals) are thinking, what she's about to do, what she thought about doing but decided not to, etc. It just never stops! It can be very cute, but sometimes I'd give my kingdom for a mute button.

Lassr wrote:

Sith Lord wrote:We actually keep a "quote book" - a journal in the kitchen of cute things that the kids have said. It's actually getting close to full and we're going to need a "volume 2" pretty soon. It's fun to sometimes flip back through it together.

I should have done this. I've forgotten most of the funny ones, even a few I've sent to Bill Harris. He put them in his blog so they are on record there at least.

That's a great idea. I'm going to have to see if we can implement it.

Wife to Daughter: Is mommy old?
Daughter to wife: Almost.



Another good one that I can't quote properly because I wasn't there but my daughter told a EMT that a shark attacked her after someone hit my wife's car. The EMT's were dying laughing at the crazy story she started to weave.

This post is best read while humming the theme to "Mission Impossible."

Elaina, 3, is an escape artist and cat-burglar.


In the last month:

1. Her favorite blanket, which she refers to as "My Color Beautiful Blanket", was taken away for the night due to various misconduct. [Hers, not the blankets.]

Katrina put the blanket on top of the cat climbing structure -- perhaps 7 feet tall -- in the office. Then she closed the office door. The office door has a childproof knob-cover.

At 4:30 in the morning I hear a noise and get up.

Elaina has (a) defeated the "childproof" knob cover to open the office door, (b) dragged her high chair from the dining room all the way across to the opposite end of the house into the office, (c) positioned the high chair next to the cat climbing structure, and (d) scaled the high chair and cat structure to get her blanket.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!" I say.

[perfectly innocent, quizzical look] "Nothing, Daddy."


2. Sometimes Elaina gets up before anyone else and lets the cat out into the atrium, so I saw nothing out of place when I noticed that sliding door was open when I got up the other day. Elaina was sitting on the couch looking innocent. Later my wife called me and informed me that Elaina had, in fact, (a) opened the heavy sliding glass door, (b) unlocked the door to the garage, (c) poured out a gallon of Tide (which was on the washing machine in the garage) on the ground, (c) removed every CD and DVD in Katrina's car and removed it from its case and stacked it neatly, and (d) TURNED ON KATRINA'S CAR and operated the windshield wipers until she got bored of it. I noticed none of this because I left through the front door rather than through the garage.


We're doomed.

My son (almost 3) loves to correct me.

I don't remember what I was doing the other day, but he broke it up:
"No, that is how you don't do it, ....daddy."


This morning, I got out of the shower and came into the kitchen.

Unagi Jr didn't say anything to me (far too busy to be bothered).
After maybe a minute, I said, "Heyya... can you say, "Hi, Daddy..." ?

He looks up and says:
"No. That is not the right way to say it, ....daddy."

ME: "Oh? What is the right way to say it?"

"GOOD MORNING DADDY!!" as he hops up and runs to hug me.

That felt pretty good.

Here's one Bill published on his blog:

Flashback:
Two years ago we went to King's Island in Cincinnati. On our way home we
decided to visit the Newport Aquarium in Kentucky. There is a point right
outside Cincinnati where I believe every interstate that goes through the
Midwest merges...to get to Newport from Cincinnati you have about 1/2 mile
to cross over about 6-8 lanes of traffic to reach the exit.

So as I'm merging lane after lane some young punk comes flying up doing
about 80+ and I merge in front of him. He changes lanes and proceeds to
"bless" me. I hold up my hand in the universal "sorry, my fault" sign but he
does not accept it and proceeds to hang out his window screaming at me and
flipping me off, so I return with a "Well, *uck off then!"

At this point I can feel the eyes burning into my skull. My wife is glaring
at me with her mouth hanging open.

"Did I say that out loud?"

She nods her head. I then say, "Ok, we are going back in time and that did
not happen." What could I say?

Flash forward to this weekend:
I was watching Riley 7.8 play Star Wars Battlefront II (he likes for me to
watch his mad ski77z) and he gets shot in the back. He blurts out, "Ah Damn.
I didn't see him sneak up behind me."

"Riley! What did you say?"

"What?" "What" is the universal word to use in our house when you are stalling
and trying to come up with an excuse.

"What did you just say?"

I said, "I didn't see him sneak up behind me."

"No, before that."

"What?"

"What did you say before that?"

"Dad, that never happened."

Touché.

Here was the other one:

Just yesterday I was working on the "tree house" (It's more of a 7 foot high deck on 4 posts built between 2 trees, but I digress) and I see Riley 7.1 come running out of the house. I instantly think, "What's wrong? What has his sister done now?"

He finally makes it over to me and says, "Dad, I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"What is it son?"

"I was playing my football game (PS2 NCAA 2004) and Alabama went from all B's to all A's"

"You came all the way out here to tell me that?"

"Yea, it's cool."

"OK, thanks."

So he turns to head back inside, but then stops and says, "Dad, what if I was a cow?"

In the past I would have been stunned into silence, but I've gotten use to these random question out of left field, so I said, "Well, I guess we would have free milk for life and potty training would have been a little harder. And I guess we would have to come up with some kind of bovine adapter to help you use the computer and your game controller."

"So I could still stay in the house?"

"Well, if I were your dad, assuming I'm still human, and mom was human and you were a cow. That's would be one amazing freak of nature and hopefully we could get rich off of it and I could afford to build a larger house and and make your room like a small pasture."

"Oooo, that would be cool."

"Yea, cool."

Lassr wrote:So he turns to head back inside, but then stops and says, "Dad, what if I was a cow?"

In the past I would have been stunned into silence, but I've gotten use to these random question out of left field

Heh, yeah it's funny how you get used to those things after the kids are a few years old. My son used to throw out questions like this all the time. "Hey Dad, what if you could eat a house?" "Well, I don't know. A house is pretty big." "Well, what if you could eat a wheel? A wheel is small."

Nowadays he and his brother just try to top each other with outlandish questions. They'll be roughhousing, and one of them will get hit, and there will be crying, then they start laughing about it. "Hey, what if you could punch me in the TONGUE, ha ha!" "No, what if you could punch me in the BRAIN!" "No, what if you punched me in the POOP! BWAHAHAHAHA!!"

Fish has started the horrible joke phase at 3 years:

Fish: Knock-knock.
Zara: Who's there?
Fish: What did the Apple Juice say to the Banana?
Zara: I don't know.
Fish: Silly, Apple Juice and Bananas! Don't Talk! (toddler giggles)

While wandering around YouTube for "Princess videos", we ran across the Peanut Butter Jelly Time video. It was a big hit, and Fish has taken to dancing (and singing) along at random times -- like in the checkout at Best Buy (which she calls the "Guitar Store!" because of the Guitar Hero displays).

Fish also thinks that we're talking about hepcat every time we ask the waitress for the bill at the restaurant. For some reason, she's fascinated that I go play games with hepcat and "with the little dudes, too" (miniatures/board game pieces).

My youngest sister had probably the most inadvertently perceptive "cute kid" moment in the car with my wife (then-girlfriend), my mom, my brother (MM), my other sister and her friends about 15 years ago:

Sis: Momma, MM sleeps naked. (giggling from my sister's friends)
Mom: Really? Doesn't he get cold? He should put pants on.
Sis: Momma. (sensing an opportunity)
Mom: What is it?
Sis: Zara and Girlfriend sleep naked, too! They sleep together! (everyone laughs until they cry, becuase of the inevitable logic of us having just moved in together at the time)

My kid thinks he's a dog. He's been raised with the dogs. He even chases the goats when he goes outside. I don't like to hold him cause he pees on me when I do.

Rather than repeat ourselves... Good memories, thanks!

This happened many years ago....

Me: Ariel, it's bedtime. Go get a book to read.
Ariel: OK!

A minute later -

Me: Did you get a book?
Ariel: Yup!
Me: What book did you get?
Ariel: Murphy Brown Can Moo!

I took some pictures of a tornado that hit near our house this week. Amelia 4.5 sees me looking at the pictures on the computer, and I tell her it's a tornado. She starts to freak out a bit, but I explain to her it was several miles away from us. It didn't do any damage. It's gone now and won't be coming back. Okay?

Her: Okay...(pause)...So what's the bad news?

We have DirecTV and thought kidtessier (3.10) had watched too much on Sunday, so we turned on the 90s music station instead and started dancing (which she loves). "I'm too Sexy" came on and mstessier was dancing to it with her. kidtessier was cracking up and having a grand ol' tyme.

That night, before bed, kidtessier started walking around on her hands and feet like a cat and saying "Do your cat walk, do your cat walk, I shake my little tush and do the cat walk." with little tush shaking in the appropriate places.

I think that one gets us Parents of the Year for sure.

((chaosraven gets shot in the head or neck with a nerf dart))
boys: sorry SORRY sorry
((chaosraven gets shot in the head or neck with a nerf dart again))
Me: ok, is your aim that BAD or do you guys think I'm that stupid?
boys: ... (looking at each other for hints)
Me: take the guns outside

((peace and quiet for five minutes... chaosraven gets shot in the head or neck with a nerf dart))

Me: WHAT DID I TELL Y-
boys: mom said she's working in the garden and to take the guns inside

((What she actually said was "take those inside and put them away"))

Anna can say "mama," "dada" and "Bye bye" pretty good, but we talk to her constantly trying to get her to say more words. One of the big ones we've been repeating is "kitty cat" since we have three cats.

The other day at the table one of the cats jumped up on the ledge behind me. Anna points, and as loud as her little 10-month old voice can shout proclaims, "KEE KA!"

I wish I could have snapped a picture of her face at that exact moment. She was proud as a little peacock.

Mira's gotten pretty good at saying (or approximating) "Ducky" and "Daddy", and is getting close to "Doggie." My wife and I often disagree on whether she has said a word or just said some syllables that sound vaguely like a word. What's interesting is that a friend of ours is *extremely* generous in her assessment of her daughter's speech. The daugher (who is ~ 8 months) will say something like "ahhh - mmmm", and the friend will be like "she said amen!". The best one was when she said that her daughter sometimes referred to herself as "Ro Ro Ro" (when the daughter's name is "Emma"). Sure, that could be it - or maybe she's just babbling like every other 8 month old out there.

One other cute thing is that my mother-in-law has trained Mira such that if you say "oh no!!!" to her, about 70% of the time she'll put her hands on her head in an "oh no!" kind of pose.

My nephew is a little character.
When he was about 3.5, my mom was babysitting him. And he lets out the loudest, most raunchy fart you have ever heard period - let alone from a 3.5 year old.
My mom looks at him, aghast: ANDY!!! Do you need to poop?
Andy looks back at her, shrugs, and goes back to his toys: Not anymore.

He also is used to getting cookies from the cookie jar at my parents' house. Well he emptied it one day when he was about 4.5 or 5, and they never refilled it before he came over again. So he wanders over, opens the cookie jar and gasps at the horrid sight of an empty cookie jar. "Grandpa!" (Dad is a very hefty man) "You need to stop eating all these cookies! No wonder you're so fat!"

Shortly after we got our cat, we made the drive up to Wisconsin for our anniversary. We had the cat with us, and left her with my parents while we went to the Dells for a few days. They were watching Andy some of the time we were gone. It's worthwhile to note that we got the cat when she was about 3 years old from a shelter. She had very obviously been abandoned, and it seems that her previous family must have had kids... Andy got in trouble the first day the cat was there, and was sent up to "his" room in punishment. So he is stomping slowly up the stairs, screaming and crying his little eyes out.. with the cat very happily following him with her tail straight up like "oh boy! naptime! finally!!" And sure enough, Mom looked in later to see kid and cat curled up napping peacefully.

What's interesting is that a friend of ours is *extremely* generous in her assessment of her daughter's speech.

Hehe, my mom is like that. She swore up and down that Anna said, "Let me see that" when reaching for a remote. I'm thinking it was more like, "Ay......Sssthhhhstshtshthsthsths"

They can definitely understand much more than they can say, though. I get a little over-cautious around her wondering just how much she understands of what I'm talking about.

No children myself but I have a ton of niece/nephew stories:

Family is at the beach, Niece2, age 4 is eating breakfast at bar in kitchen and says something everyone else thinks is funny:

Me: That's funny, Niece2!
Everyone: Laugh, laugh, laugh!
Niece2: I am not a clown, I do not tell jokes, I am not funny! (she gets upset and run upstairs where her baby sister is still sleeping)
Niece2 (heard over baby monitor): I don't understand why they are laughing at me. I'm not a clown and I don't tell jokes! Why are they laughing at me?!?

My father and both my brothers and I and one sister-in-law all went to University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, or Carolina as we call it. Unfortunately Niece2 has been brainwashed into being an NC State fan by her mother, the lone NC State grad in the family. I was determined to not let her sister, Niece3 fall prey to the same, so as she was learning to talk, I''d get her to say stuff like "Go Heels!", "Go Carolina!" etc. Of course she had no idea what she was saying but it would make me smile and laugh and her mother groan so she'd do it just for that reason.

So one morning on the annual family beach trip, she (now 3 years old) and I are alone at the breakfast table. She finishes her milk, slams her sippy cup on the table, and looks to me like, "Fill it up, Uncle Grifman!". I look at her and say, "Niece3, that's not how you ask for more milk! What are you supposed to say when you want more of something?", expecting something more like "Please, more milk". She turns to me, looking a bit puzzled, then brightens up and says questioningly, "Go Carolina?" I died laughing and said, "That's not what I was looking for but that will certainly get you a glass of milk!"

So I was changing Chloe's poop diaper the other day and she asked to examine its contents after I got it off of her. My wife assures me that this interest is a good thing and will lead to potty training. After I show her the used diaper, I rolled it shut and fastened it to itself using the sticky tabs. Then, with my good hand, I reached for one of the disposable, scented diaper bags (basically small plastic grocery sacks designed to trap in smell that are thrown away individually), but had trouble getting it open. So I licked my fingers to open the bag.

Chloe 2.3 (Eyes 5 times wider than normal): DADDY, DID YOU EAT MY POOP?!?
Me: No, I licked my fingers to open the plastic bag ...
Chloe 2.3: YOU ATE MY POOP?!?
Me: No, Mija, see, this was my clean hand and I licked my finger tips to open ...
Chloe 2.3: MOMMY, DADDY ATE MY POOP!!!!!!!!
Me: *dies laughing*

Me: do you want to go to the carnival this sunday.
son: That depends on what kind it is.
Me: Kind?
son: Yes, there are two kinds. One kind God loves, but he hates the other kind.
Me: er, I'm not sure I understand.
son: God loves the kind with rides and games, but he hates the kind that eats people.
Me: I don't think carnivals eat people.
son: Yes, one kind does. I learned about it in school.
me: (sits in confused silence)
Wife: Do you mean carnivore?
son: oh yeah, that's what I meant. Never mind.

stessier wrote:But I get to go first. My daughter is at a great age now and I just have to share.

(fade in to a car 10 minutes from the house after a play date)

kidtessier 3.7: Mommy, I have to go potty.
mrstessier: Can you wait until we get home?
kidtessier 3.7: Yes

(5 minutes pass - car is surrounded by cornfields)

kidtessier 3.7: Mommy, I really have to go potty now.
mrstessier: Can you wait until we get home?
kidtessier 3.7: No.

(Car quickly pulls over into a field. Wife and daughter get out of the car. Wife pulls down daughters pants.)

mrstessier: Okay, go ahead. I'll help hold you.
kidtessier 3.7: (Looking down)I can go pee-pee in the grass?
mrstessier: Yes.
kidtessier 3.7: (Looking quizzically at my wife) Like a doggie?
mrstessier: Yes.
kidtessier 3.7: That's okay, Mommy. I can wait until we get home. Let's go.

Part 2 happened last weekend in almost the exact same cornfield. This time she said the grass was tickling her, so she said she could wait until we got home again. We got home and I told her it was time to go potty.

stessier: Okay, run in the house and go potty
/* stomping her foot */
kidtessier 3.11: But I don't have to go potty!!
stessier: You said you had to go and we don't want an accident. Go potty.
/* stomping her foot */
kidtessier 3.11: But I DON'T HAVE TO GO POTTY!!
stessier: Okay, take off your shoes and put them in your room. Then go help Mommy.
/* takes off her shoes and runs into her room */
kidtessier 3.11: But what about the potty?
stessier: You can go to the potty if you want.
kidtessier 3.11: But I don't have to go potty!

While eating dinner

kidtessier 4.3: Daddy, where is my milk and chicken?
stessier: In your tummy.
kidtessier 4.3: No it's not, it's in my bum.
stessier: ...
kidtessier 4.3: Yeah, it's all lined up in my bum just waiting to come out.
stessier: ...
kidtessier 4.3: First my milk comes out, then my chicken. It is all lined up ready to come out.

stessier looks at mstessier and much laughing ensues.

At her birthday party, Elaina was wearing a princess outfit, capped with a balloon sword-belt, balloon sword, and balloon helmet made by the balloon-maker-face-painter guy we hired.

Me: Look, here comes a pretty princess!
Elaina [removing sword from clever balloon-scabbard and brandishing it aggressively]: NO! A FIGHTING! PRINCESS!

Jessica was watching me making breakfast one morning when she was around 4 or 5. I was about to open one of those vacuum packed nabob coffees that are wrapped in gold foil.

Jessi: What are you doing with the butter, Daddy?
me: It's not butter, hon, it's coffee.
Jessi (assertively): No, it's butter.
me: Nope. Coffee.
Jessi (very assertively): No. It's butter!
me: You're right. It's butter. But I can turn it *into* coffee.
Jessi (uncertain now): How?
me: Watch. Abra Cadabra!

I open it up and she sees the coffee.

Jessi: How did you do that?
me: Magic, of course.
Jessi: Wowwwww.

---
When Sarah was around 2, we had a rule in the house: food stays in the kitchen.

One day, she's testing the rule and is trying to sneak out of the kitchen with a cracker.

After being told that food stays in the kitchen, she starts crying and keeps trying to leave. After I repeated myself a couple of times, she cries harder and harder and I start to realize that it's not about the rule.

"Sarah", I say. "Food stays in the kitchen ... but you don't have to." She puts the cracker on the table and leaves.

I'll never forget my daughter's version of Baa Baa Black Sheep:

Baa baa black sheep
Have you any wolf?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags four
One for my master who lives in the dane
And one for my master who lives in the dane
Baa baa black sheep
Have you any wolf?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags four

My daughter is 14 months and can't really talk yet so I'm limited in cute stories to tell, but she did do something hilarious tonight. She is always trying to imitate "adult" actions so it's a lot of fun to stand back and just watch her.

Tonight she motioned for me to pick her up. She then leaned over, grabbed the phone off the cradle, and proceeded to very seriously (and with much concentration) dial some numbers. She then held the phone to her ear and said, "Dada? Da da da da da da DA!" She then hit another button (to turn it "off"), put it back in the cradle, and proceeded to walk out of the room, apparently satisfied with her conversation.

My wife and I just busted out laughing.

And Jaymann - that version of the song is classic. I was laughing out loud reading that.

YellowKing wrote:My daughter is 14 months and can't really talk yet so I'm limited in cute stories to tell, but she did do something hilarious tonight. She is always trying to imitate "adult" actions so it's a lot of fun to stand back and just watch her.

Tonight she motioned for me to pick her up. She then leaned over, grabbed the phone off the cradle, and proceeded to very seriously (and with much concentration) dial some numbers. She then held the phone to her ear and said, "Dada? Da da da da da da DA!" She then hit another button (to turn it "off"), put it back in the cradle, and proceeded to walk out of the room, apparently satisfied with her conversation.

My wife and I just busted out laughing.

And some random guy got the weirdest phone call of all time; OF ALL TIME!

I love these stories. All of em.

My 3 yr old little math wizard, Jack:

Last night I was making Jack a pizza in the oven and he ran in and read the oven's timer.

"sixminutes" he says to himself as he rushes out of the kitchen and into the family room.
I can hear him repeat it a few times as his footsteps fade away and stop. Two beats later he comes running back into the kitchen.

"Daddy, can you set this alarm to 5:53 please?", he had our 'spare' iPhone in his hands.

I looked at the iPhones clock, and then the oven's timer... and then stared at him.

Me: "Why 5:53, buddy?"
Jack: "cause that is when my Pizza is gonna be ready".

and he was totally right.

talk about a Gushing Parent. I was just beaming at him.

He's been very good with numbers since a very young age, but the math has been hit-n-miss, until recently.
About a week ago, I overheard (totally spied) him figuring out some random time/math problem he had dreamed up. It was very cool to hear him work it out, aloud. He just said, "So... 33 and 1 is 34. and so 2 is 35, and 3 is 36, and 4 is 37... 38! 2:38 is 5 minutes."


He just amazes me.


and stessier,
Jack: "I need to poop, Daddy"
Me: "Ok, let's go"
Jack: "Nooooo"
Me: "C'mon - it's OK - it'll be fine."
Jack: "I don't need to go"
Me: "But, but you did say that you needed to poop."
Jack (mad): "I need to poop in THREE HUNDRED YEARS!"
Me: "Alright then" yeesh
Me: ...
Me: "Want some raisins?"

Does a 14 yr old pretending to have a 25 yr old boyfriend on facebook to get guys her own age to leave her alone count?