Ask The Meal

[WPD]

If you could never wash another piece of your clothing would you wear dirty clothes all the time, continuously buy new clothing or go nude?

[Default]

Unibrow or duckfeet?

[dbt1949]

Do you like movies about.........gladiators?
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

[Ralph-Wiggum]

Why do people have skins of different colors? Is there an evolutionary reason for the color of man's skin to have changed from the black skin (presumably) our ancestors had?

[Binktopia]

Is it true that fire burns?

[SirReal]

If you went swinging under a tree with Cameron Diaz, what would Mrs Meal do?

[Spike]

I have two questions for you:

1. Is the choice of "The Meal", as opposed to "A Meal", a sign of a subconscious lack of assurance being compensated or is it a comment on the world food situation, insinuating that - if viewed holistically - there is in fact only one meal in the world, which everyone should be able to eat?

2. Si on dit 'do-itashimashite', c'est quoi ce bordel?

[Atalante]

Whats the 300th digit of Pi?

If WWF wrestling was real, who would be the current chapion?

What would happen if we turned off physics for 24 hours?

If Lord of the Rings stared Jim Carry as Gandalf and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Frodo, would it still be good?

What would happen if we discovered the meaning of life, and humanity played no part in it?

[The Meal]

Well, here they measured the universe to be 156 billion light years (diameter.) Did you miss a digit or have another source?
http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/m ... 40524.html

We're using different definitions of "the observable universe." Their definition (which I was aware of) takes into account expansion over the last 13+ billion years. My definition takes only into account how far we're currently able to see, as things sit today. The wikipedia entry for "universe" does a nice job of explaining this.

About that limit, what would happen if I wanted to travel farther than the frontier of the universe, if I have the means to go to a sufficient speed to do it (I know, far fetched hypothesis but just to speak about it...)? Do you think I would "reappear" at the other side of it like in defender? Or is there no frontier and all space is "convoluted" (I'm searching for a better word here...) upon itself?

I think if you magically managed to move farther away from Earth than the observable universe that you'd find yourself in a region of space very similar to what the regions looked like on your trip getting there. I don't think there is anything magical about how far out we can see.

Conversely if you're talking about "the edge of the universe" while imagining the expansion of the universe to be like bread rising, I'd have to say that you're attempting the impossible. There is no space outside our rising bread for you to move into. I'm not talking about there just being emptyness -- I'm talking about a complete non-region, where physics doesn't exist, energy doesn't exist, matter doesn't exist, thoughts don't exist, --nothing-- *could* exist. We lack the right verbiage to talk about that (non)region of the universe. "Empty space" still has a whole lot of stuff going on in it -- photons travel through it, particles spontaneously form (and then almost immediately annhilate each other), energy can exist within it. But outside our universe, we're not talking "empty space." We're talking NOTHING. Stoners and those with active imaginations like to think about what it'd be like out there, but armed with a decent knowledge of physics, you quickly realize that it's pretty much a matter of nomenclature -- there is no there out there.

Now about time. Lets speak in billions of years. Given that there was a big bang, what was there before it?

Could be *anything*. Personally, I like to think there were a whole shitload of prior attempts at universes with different properties of physics. I like to think of "our" Big Bang as one of any number of Big Bangs. It just happens that ours was the one that lead to our universe. Once entropy has done its number on our universe (or in the case of previous universes, once the Big Crunch had occurred), everything resets and a new Big Bang (with new properties of physics) is begun anew. God drops another quarter into the slot, if you will. But nothing about my knowledge of physics tells me a thing about time prior to the Big Bang -- it's all idle conjecture. There could have been nothing (for what is time without substance to be moving/changing?) in the same sense as what's outside our universe (think of the voice recorder that only advances the media when it's recording audio), or there could have been a huge intergalactic cheeseburger with deuterium ketchup and plutonium pickles, inhabited by housecats, Alf, and dustmites all gayly dancing about in singsong fashion composing odes the The Great Cow That Must Have Died For Their Cheeseburger To Exist. Not only don't we know, I don't think we ever *could* know (although that's getting to the crux of whether information is preserved -- Stephen Hawking's recent bet that was in the news).

If you tell me that there was no before and time was kind of created after the big bang, there must have been "something" that "started" it. Do you think that the end and beginning of time could only be illusional and time could be circular and all could repeat itself again and again for "eternity"?

I disagree that there had to be something to start the Big Bang, in a semantic sense. Maybe my Galactic Cheeseburger That Could underwent a Big Crunch and inverted itself into our Big Bang. In such a regime, there *was* a cause for our Big Bang, but it happened before our universe's physics were ever defined, and as such, that prime cause could never be understood. Make up whatever creation myth you'd like!

Regarding Time being circular, I rather doubt it. Lots of scientists, back when discussion whether our universe would eventually contract, wondered, once the possible contraction would take place, if we'd see a shift in the ordering of causes and events, if entropy would flip around and act in the reverse order. What a bunch of hooey!

I think our current understanding of quantum mechanics indicate that there are *truly random* events going on at the subatomic level. If this is the case, then time cannot be cyclic (for if the QM events are purely random, then having them repeat in some cyclic manner does not make a whole lot of sense). QM is a pretty young scientific theory, however, and I doubt that we really have done much to scratch the surface of the randomness or chaos that really exists for interactions at that level.

This is if the universe will eventually contract itself at the "end of time"... Now eternity could have no meaning because time could cease to exist "between" each big bangs. Or it could be a slow evolution, an iteration of world creations to converte through something?

Without matter or energy or thought or anything, time has no meaning. It'd be like the voice recorder I talked about before -- if nothing's going on, time cannot advance.

Now about freedom of choice. If I make the hypothesis that there is no soul (That's not what I believe but just for the sake of argumentation.) Then do you believe that all the reactions between human beings would be already decided in advance in function of the initial condition given by the big bang, no matter what creates the big bang?

I think we've moved beyond Descartes and the Newtonian frames of everything just being a simple clockworks. My understanding of Quantum Mechanics indicates that given all initial conditions, we are actually unable to predict future results on the subatomic level. If that's the case, soul or no, the future truly is what we make of it.

Are there alternate universes?

Irrelevant. For if there are, there is no theoretical way for us to jump to them, so they're outside our sphere of influence. If we can't influence them and they can't influence us, then Occam's Razor says that things are much easier if we act as if they don't exist. Wanna slice of dustmite and housecat cheeseburger?

And if so, does Michael Bolton suck in ALL of them?

Most definitely. But to make up for that, understand that this is likely the case, too. (NSFW link due to audio.)

Why does 2 + 2 make 4?

Pretty much by definition and observation. We've defined the meanings of two and four and summation, and repeated experiments of combining our understandings of two and two have always resulted in four items in the end. Theoretical mathematicians can boil it down to some of their simple premises, but it really boils down to definitions and observations.

Meal, help me beat flycatcher in fantasy football this week. With McNair injurede and not playing, I need a fill-in QB. My choices are Griese at home against ATL, Collins at home against KC, Rattay @ STL, or Volek (McNair's backup) & INDY. We get 6 pts per TD and 1 pt per 30 yards thrown. INTS and fumbles lost are -3 each. Who should I start?

Griese would be a great call.

If you could never wash another piece of your clothing would you wear dirty clothes all the time, continuously buy new clothing or go nude?

In my college days, I grew my boxer short collection by leaps and bounds due to laziness associated with doing laundry. I'm not above wearing the dirties, but were I in an enviornmental situation that supported it (both socially and atmospherically), I'd prefer to go Meal in the Buff.

Unibrow or duckfeet?

Clearly both. But if I had to decide, I'd go with the call-back to my Sesame Street days and end up with -- hey! both! Bert always annoyed me, but so did Big Bird, so I can't even decide based on that. As I rather enjoy tweezing hairs, I suppose I'd end up picking unibrow if only for the entertainment value. Although if I were more of a swimmer duck-feet would make for a useful trait.

Do you like movies about.........gladiators?

Depends on the movie. Ben Hur was pretty fun, but Gladiator itself was a snoozer to me.

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

You betcha!

Why do people have skins of different colors?

Variety is the spice of life.

Is there an evolutionary reason for the color of man's skin to have changed from the black skin (presumably) our ancestors had?

Yes, if only to entertain our Overlords by our acting so freakishly stupid in regards to how we treat our fellow humans. Down with the duckbrow! Up with the unifeet!

Is it true that fire burns?

The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, and see a doctor
and get rid of it.

If you went swinging under a tree with Cameron Diaz, what would Mrs Meal do?

The local rent-to-own *does* have digital video equipment available for personal use. She'd brush up on her technique.

1. Is the choice of "The Meal", as opposed to "A Meal", a sign of a subconscious lack of assurance being compensated or is it a comment on the world food situation, insinuating that - if viewed holistically - there is in fact only one meal in the world, which everyone should be able to eat?

False dichotomy. True reason available here.

2. Si on dit 'do-itashimashite', c'est quoi ce bordel?

Here.

Whats the 300th digit of Pi?

7

If WWF wrestling was real, who would be the current chapion?

Steve Austin.

What would happen if we turned off physics for 24 hours?

Old Testament, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.[/quote]

If Lord of the Rings stared Jim Carry as Gandalf and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Frodo, would it still be good?

In the not-too-distant future--
Next Sunday, A.D.--
There was a guy named Joe,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at Gizmonic Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit;
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find. (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
While we monitor his mind. (la la la)
Now keep in mind Joe can't control
When the movies begin or end,
Because he used those extra parts
To make his robot friends!

Robot roll-call--
Cambot
Gypsy
Tom Servo
Croooow!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself it's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!

What would happen if we discovered the meaning of life, and humanity played no part in it?

My God! It'd be just like...
...it is today. You and I would still be clacking keys on a keyboard in the (futile?) attempt of entertaining ourselves, if only for short bursts of time.

~Neal

[Kael]

If we were made in God's image, and we have penis's (well at least all of us that scored over a 20 on the math section of the SAT) then God must have a penis. My question is does God ever "touch" it? And if not, what is God's penis for?

[Ralph-Wiggum]

There's this AM radio station that I listen to fairly often (for those in the RTP area, it's 850 The Buzz). During the day, the signal comes in fine no matter where I am in the area. But at nights, the signal is terrible; I can barely make out the words through all the static. And the time doesn't matter, just that it is dark outside (during the summer the station would come in clear until 8 or 9, while now I can't hear it after 5). So, my question is, why would the signal degrade during darkness?

[martindemon]

About chaos and what we call "random". Do you think that it could be possible that what we call random is only a mean to talk about things that we cannot fully understand or that we are not willing to model properly because of complexity? If that were the case, would that not mean that it's possible that free will really does not exist but there is no way to tell because of the limited means of men? What if the means to predict subatomic events exist but are not at the reach of men?
That's one of my nightmares... Thinking about having no free will but seeing that most people seem to think they have. It doesn't change the way we live our lives but the possibility disturbs me greatly. Like I was forced to endure something until the inevitability of my end, like a very complicated billard game. Does that possibility not trouble you?

[nameless77]

Do you believe in infinity?

[Kelric]

Who does the best version of the song Mr. Grinch?

[Guy Incognito]

1. Am I going to have enough time to put in the appropriate amount of effort to finish my Visual Basic .NET programming project _and_ research Buddhist Koan's enough to give an 8 minute speech on them?

2. What will my final grades be in each class?

[Captain Caveman]

My girlfriend asks, if the universe is expanding, what is it expanding INTO?

For me, I'd like to know whether muppets have sex. Thank you.

[Tscott]

For me, I'd like to know whether muppets have sex. Thank you.

Well they seem to like to watch sex, at least... (Warning sound and NSFW)

[The Meal]

If we were made in God's image, and we have penis's (well at least all of us that scored over a 20 on the math section of the SAT) then God must have a penis. My question is does God ever "touch" it? And if not, what is God's penis for?

Where do you think the word "omnipotent" came from? Hello!

There's this AM radio station that I listen to fairly often (for those in the RTP area, it's 850 The Buzz). During the day, the signal comes in fine no matter where I am in the area. But at nights, the signal is terrible; I can barely make out the words through all the static. And the time doesn't matter, just that it is dark outside (during the summer the station would come in clear until 8 or 9, while now I can't hear it after 5). So, my question is, why would the signal degrade during darkness?

The signal you receive can be lessened at any given time for one of three reasons: 1) The output signal degrades between it leaving its source and getting to you, 2) The output signal is reduced in amplitude at the source, or 3) your ability to receive the signal degrades. Some AM stations are given different classifications for power output based on daytime/evening status, so it may be that they're forced to scale back their output and therefore give other nearby (in frequency) sources more luck in overpowering their signal.

About chaos and what we call "random". Do you think that it could be possible that what we call random is only a mean to talk about things that we cannot fully understand or that we are not willing to model properly because of complexity?

Yes.

If that were the case, would that not mean that it's possible that free will really does not exist but there is no way to tell because of the limited means of men?

Yes.

What if the means to predict subatomic events exist but are not at the reach of men?

Then science will still be an interesting topic in the future.

That's one of my nightmares... Thinking about having no free will but seeing that most people seem to think they have. It doesn't change the way we live our lives but the possibility disturbs me greatly. Like I was forced to endure something until the inevitability of my end, like a very complicated billard game. Does that possibility not trouble you?

No.

Do you believe in infinity?

Yes.

Who does the best version of the song Mr. Grinch?

Captain Kangaroo.

1. Am I going to have enough time to put in the appropriate amount of effort to finish my Visual Basic .NET programming project _and_ research Buddhist Koan's enough to give an 8 minute speech on them?

Yes, but you may have to redefine what "appropriate" means in your specific situations.

2. What will my final grades be in each class?

B and C+

My girlfriend asks, if the universe is expanding, what is it expanding INTO?

A concept of nothing that some people find painfully difficult to comprehend.

For me, I'd like to know whether muppets have sex. Thank you.

I haven't surfed *every* page on the internet, so my research on this is inconclusive. Since I'm allowed to guess I'll put my money on "Of course they do."

~Neal

[WPD]

What are the 37th best and 37th worst movies of all time?

[Grinfin]

For me, I'd like to know whether muppets have sex. Thank you.

I haven't surfed *every* page on the internet, so my research on this is inconclusive. Since I'm allowed to guess I'll put my money on "Of course they do."

You obviously haven't met the Feebles. Probably not work safe.

[The Meal]

What are the 37th best and 37th worst movies of all time?

Sorry, I missed both of them. I'm betting at least on of them is currently in my Netflix cue, however.

~Neal

[Captain Caveman]

For me, I'd like to know whether muppets have sex. Thank you.

Well they seem to like to watch sex, at least... (Warning sound and NSFW)

I can now say without hyperbole that that song is the greatest musical composition ever written. Bravo!

[CeeKay]

Why does Kelrics mother dress him funny?

[Ralph-Wiggum]

When violently sick from food poisoning, is it better to crap in the toilet bowl and puke on the floor or puke in the toilet bowl and crap on the floor?

[Dirt]

Are fake people being fake or just being themselves?

[MHS]

When violently sick from food poisoning, is it better to crap in the toilet bowl and puke on the floor or puke in the toilet bowl and crap on the floor?

Ooooh, oooh, I can answer this one! It's better to do your business in the toilet and puke into the bathtub. Unless you're my brother, in which case crapping into a data tape box while puking all over yourself is acceptable. At work.

[Kelric]

What's your most favorite inanimate object ever?

[Captain Caveman]

Meal, I would like to know when it would be appropriate to start an "ask dbt" thread. Now, I in no way think your thread has outstayed its welcome. It's just that I wanted to know how to properly skin a raccoon and figured dbt might be better equipped to answer my question.

[Al]

If this is a consular ship, then where is the ambassador?

[WPD]

What would it take for you to answer this question?

[CSL]

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[martindemon]

What power quality mitigation strategy would you suggest for an industrial plant if it suffers from a high voltage harmonic content on the point of common coupling, when you don't want to potentially cause harmonic resonance on the power network?

Are tube amplifiers really better than solid state amplifiers for hi-fi? (I'm building a headphone tube amp right now to experiment it, and to revise electronic )

Will Harry Potter die in the 7th book?

Who is the half blood prince?

While I live, I devour.
When I drink, I die.
Who am I?

You are badly hurt in a deadly dungeon, before a big guardian with two heads. You must go forth. Behind each head is a door. One of the door leads to death. The other door leads to more challenges. One of the head always tell lies while the other always tell the truth. You can ask one question to one of the heads, then you will have to choose a door, else the creature will surely kill you. What will the question be?

There are 12 knights around a table. They all shake hands with their 2 neighbors. How many handshakes was there?

[Spike]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

What's in my pocketses?

[The Meal]

Just as a preannouncement, this is the last installation of Ask Meal. I'd like to thank the academy, my family, and especially dbt1949 for allowing me this fun entertainment.

Why does Kelrics mother dress him funny?

Pity. You see there are so many things that folks could make fun of Kelric for, that his mother thought that by obviously dressing him funny that folks wouldn't pick up on his other shortcomings. (She, of course, was wrong, but at least a mother tried.)

When violently sick from food poisoning, is it better to crap in the toilet bowl and puke on the floor or puke in the toilet bowl and crap on the floor?

I've been in this position from drinking too much alcohol. Friends dragged me down to the bathroom after an unfortunate experience my Freshman year (note: kids under 21, do not try this at home or in your dorm room) with a bottle of 151. This was after I had been vomiting outside the dorm entrance (spinach stains still visible seven months later) and they thought I was finished (ha!). I mentioned to Joe and Jer that "I needed to poo." They put my arms around their shoulders and ambled me down to the bathroom (stucco walls = bloody knuckles). They dropped me off in one of the stalls and I managed to perch myself on the porcelain. Of course I couldn't get the stall door shut so I sort of batted at it in entertainment. Joe and Jer came back five minutes later to check on me, and I let them know I wasn't done with my business yet. They came back ten minutes later and I gave the same response. Joe told me that if I wasn't done the next time he was just going to put me to bed no matter what. J&J came back fifteen minutes later to find me passed out on the bathroom floor in front of the stall, on my side with my pants at my ankles, with a vomitous mass in front of my head and a steaming pile behind my posterior (and a peaceful smile of contentment on my restful face, one would assume). Of course my recollection of events ends with my batting at the bathroom door but restarts with the phrase "Joe, why's the toilet paper warm?" You see, he had my then g/f go and borrow a washcloth from Abe ostensibly to wipe the puke off my face. But Joe was thinking of the potential for chafing and actually wetted Abe's washcloth under the hot water and proceeded to wipe my ass (Jeremy was proud to let me know that when presented with his options, he gladly volunteered to hold me upright for this process) with it. Does one ever have better friends then in college? Abe didn't ever find out what his washcloth was actually used for until his wedding reception when the full story came out...

I've also been in this position (again, due to an alcohol-related situation) and attempted to do both at the same time into the same bowl. Do not try this at home (no matter *what* your age). Those boxershorts ended up in the garbage can at the restaurant. Incidentally enough, if you ever come out to Denver to visit, I'm no longer allowed to entertain guests at The Chop House.

Vomit is easier to clean up than food-poisoning-related feces. Crap in the bowl and try and stick your head in either the tub or the garbage can.

Are fake people being fake or just being themselves?

Interesting question! I'm fascinated by the reasons that folks behave the way they do and the motivations for those actions. I've come to the conclusion that there really is a small fraction of people who are truly that fake out of genetics, but that the vast majority of poseurs (wonder if Spike'll correct that spelling) are indeed simply acting out of some reaction to their enviornment. Interestingly enough, I find it difficult to pity folks in either classification.

What's your most favorite inanimate object ever?

While in my youth I've written odes to my spectacles, I'd have to say that with the wisdom of age my most prized inanimate object would be either something resting in the nightstand next to the bed or an article of apparel in MHS's vast array of fashions. My depths are only counterbalanced by my shallownessousity (and vocabulary!).

Meal, I would like to know when it would be appropriate to start an "ask dbt" thread. Now, I in no way think your thread has outstayed its welcome. It's just that I wanted to know how to properly skin a raccoon and figured dbt might be better equipped to answer my question.

A most sage request. I will be starting one immediately after submitting this final chapter to the Ask Meal thread.

If this is a consular ship, then where is the ambassador?

If he had the spinach and most of a fifth of 151, I think its safe to say that he's located within ten feet of the hopper.

What would it take for you to answer this question?

Proper placement within a thread and a question mark.

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

What do you mean, an African or European Swallow? More information here.

What power quality mitigation strategy would you suggest for an industrial plant if it suffers from a high voltage harmonic content on the point of common coupling, when you don't want to potentially cause harmonic resonance on the power network?

Can you clean up the signal downstream? Sort of an expensive solution, but if you've properly identified the source of harmonic distortion, that may be your only option.

Are tube amplifiers really better than solid state amplifiers for hi-fi? (I'm building a headphone tube amp right now to experiment it, and to revise electronic )

The better question is whether your ears can notice the difference. I recommend doing a blind test with other equipment and answering this question for yourself.

Will Harry Potter die in the 7th book?

Would you *really* broil the goose that laid golden eggs? Of course not.

Who is the half blood prince?

Tayshaun.

While I live, I devour.
When I drink, I die.
Who am I?

Two zebras reading a newspaper? Either that or a fire.

You are badly hurt in a deadly dungeon, before a big guardian with two heads. You must go forth. Behind each head is a door. One of the door leads to death. The other door leads to more challenges. One of the head always tell lies while the other always tell the truth. You can ask one question to one of the heads, then you will have to choose a door, else the creature will surely kill you. What will the question be?

Ask either head what the other would say is the door to certain death and then march through it.

There are 12 knights around a table. They all shake hands with their 2 neighbors. How many handshakes was there?

A dozen.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A woodchuck would chuck a lot of wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood. (That's not even easy to type!)

What's in my pocketses?

Keys, a lighter, a wallet, some loose coinage, and OH MY GOD!!! YOU ARE A SICK SICK SICK MAN!


And I'm spent.

~Neal

[Spike]

What's in my pocketses?

Keys, a lighter, a wallet, some loose coinage, and OH MY GOD!!! YOU ARE A SICK SICK SICK MAN!

That's incredible.

[martindemon]

A farmer has a goat, a wolf and a cabbage. He must cross a river but he can bring only one item at a time. The goat must not stay with the wolf while the farmer is away. The cabbage must not stay with the goat while the farmer is away. How does the farmer crosses the river?


Two police officers were investigating a mysterious death. When they arrived at the scene of the crime they found a room with no windows and the dead man who seemed to have hung himself by a rope from the ceiling. There was no chair or table that the man may have jumped off.
The only clue was a puddle of water on the floor. How did the man manage to hang himself?

Asterix died 120 years after Beorix was born. Their combined ages when they died was 100 years. Boerix died in the year 40 B.C. In what year was Asterix born?

[Tscott]

What are you going to do with people who fail to note that you've done your last installment and continue to ask you questions anyway?

[WPD]

Why won't you answer more questions???

Do you have something to hide?

Even though this post is pointless does it still count equally?

[Mr. Sparkle]

Can we still ask rhetorical questions?

[CeeKay]

Why don't you ask dbt?