[Gushing Parents] Tell me your cute kid stories

KKBlue · Post by **KKBlue** » Tue May 28, 2013 4:56 pm

THANKS for the bunch o' cuteness, needed the smile!

noxiousdog · Post by **noxiousdog** » Tue May 28, 2013 5:08 pm

Shenanigans (4.11) told us, "If a boy wants to marry you, he has to buy you a ring. And it needs to be REALLY big."

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Tue May 28, 2013 7:53 pm

LawBeefaroni wrote:On the bus the other day, the kiddo was slaying everyone with cuteness. Then she picked her nose and I said, "Hey, now, no picking your nose." She replied, "But I want the crusty snack!" Everyone kind of grimmaced and went back to their Kindles and iPhones.

Why have the crusty snack when you can have... hey, waitasecond!

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Tue May 28, 2013 8:08 pm

Last week out on the porch, looking at the two insects on the railing:

Look Daddy -- that fly is giving the other one a piggyback ride!

I'm guessing "the talk" is coming sooner than later. Can't she stay 7 forever?

coopasonic · Post by **coopasonic** » Wed May 29, 2013 9:00 am

I'm still waiting for one of my parents to give me "the talk"... of course I've already had two kids and a vasectomy so it may be just a bit too late.

My older son just turned 7 and that sort of things feels like it's a world away. He is on his third or fourth girlfriend, but I am pretty sure they are platonic.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Wed May 29, 2013 9:40 am

My daughter's been married probably a couple dozen times by now.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Wed May 29, 2013 9:51 am

Last night my daughter asked if girls can marry girls and, after a moment of panic, I decided on yes. Her mouth dropped open and then she asked can boys marry boys and I said yes. She then asked why before something on TV caught her attention and that was it. Living in a state where my answers are likely to be wrong for the foreseeable future and the fact that she's going to a Catholic school I just know those answers are going to come back to haunt me. Why couldn't she have started with something easy like why God let's people starve or war or something?

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Wed May 29, 2013 10:10 am

Well you were going to have to start in on the "South Carolinians are reactionist nutballs" lessons sooner or later.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Wed May 29, 2013 10:29 am

El Guapo wrote:Well you were going to have to start in on the "South Carolinians are reactionist nutballs" lessons sooner or later.

The civic side is easy. Explaining the religious side...man, I hope she just wait a few years before it comes up again.

Octavious · Post by **Octavious** » Wed May 29, 2013 11:35 am

We were at a party on Monday. My daughter scraped her leg and was limping around and complaining like she was hit by a bus. The finale was when she laid down in the grass and said she felt weak. I started dying laughing.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Wed May 29, 2013 11:52 am

While I usually drop off the kids at day care / pre-school in the morning, yesterday my wife did as I had a morning meeting. Today my daughter was asking if the wife could do it again, and I said, "No, I'll be doing drop off today." My daughter thought about it, and said, "I'm feeling sick. If you drop me off, you might get sick too."

Nice try.

YellowKing · Post by **YellowKing** » Wed May 29, 2013 12:19 pm

Out of the clear blue the other day my daughter (3) says, "Daddy, do you say "Damn it?"

YK: "Ummm....no, where'd you hear that? Did somebody at school say that?"
YP: "No you said it a long time ago."
YK: "Well I didn't mean to say that. That's a cuss word. Don't ever say that. Daddy was probably mad and didn't mean to say that."
YP: "You said DAMN IT!"
YK: "Yes, OK let's not say that again. That was wrong of Daddy to say that."
YP: "I'm not cussing, I'm just telling you that you said DAMN IT"
YK: "I know you're not cussing baby, I know I said it, let's just drop it. Thank you for pointing that out."
YP: "Ok but I'm not in trouble because I wasn't cussing I was just telling you that you said DAMN IT!"
YK: "Ok no more saying DAMN IT"
YP: "You just said DAMN IT again Daddy..."

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Wed May 29, 2013 12:27 pm

My oldest boy broke his foot after he kicked his dog in the head. Dog is fine.
Can you say karma?

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Wed May 29, 2013 1:22 pm

YellowKing wrote:Out of the clear blue the other day my daughter (3) says, "Daddy, do you say "Damn it?"

YK: "Ummm....no, where'd you hear that? Did somebody at school say that?"
YP: "No you said it a long time ago."
YK: "Well I didn't mean to say that. That's a cuss word. Don't ever say that. Daddy was probably mad and didn't mean to say that."
YP: "You said DAMN IT!"
YK: "Yes, OK let's not say that again. That was wrong of Daddy to say that."
YP: "I'm not cussing, I'm just telling you that you said DAMN IT"
YK: "I know you're not cussing baby, I know I said it, let's just drop it. Thank you for pointing that out."
YP: "Ok but I'm not in trouble because I wasn't cussing I was just telling you that you said DAMN IT!"
YK: "Ok no more saying DAMN IT"
YP: "You just said DAMN IT again Daddy..."

Aren't kids the best?

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Wed May 29, 2013 1:50 pm

The other day we were having dinner when my daughter suddenly asked, "Daddy, what does 'kiss my butt' mean?"

Oh, the playground.

Toe · Post by **Toe** » Wed May 29, 2013 10:03 pm

3-year old girl answering a question about an incoming sibling

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqpVGAfrL3M" target="_blank

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:10 am

Yesterday we were having dinner at home. Wife and I were discussing plans for the weekend. Tiks straightened up in her chair, looked at me seriously, wagged her finger, and said, "Daddy, if you want to be a big hitter, you have to wear a team shirt!"

We have no idea where that is from. I vaguely understand what it means, something about teamwork I assume, but no idea where she picked it up. Oh, and when I asked where she heard that, she just WINKED (!?) at me and said, "Team shirt, daddy."

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:27 am

I enjoyed this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k1qPaDJHOs" target="_blank

Recreations of a conversation with a two year old daughter. There are two videos like that so far.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:29 am

LawBeefaroni wrote:Yesterday we were having dinner at home. Wife and I were discussing plans for the weekend. Tiks straightened up in her chair, looked at me seriously, wagged her finger, and said, "Daddy, if you want to be a big hitter, you have to wear a team shirt!"

We have no idea where that is from. I vaguely understand what it means, something about teamwork I assume, but no idea where she picked it up. Oh, and when I asked where she heard that, she just WINKED (!?) at me and said, "Team shirt, daddy."

Holy crap, that's hilarious!

I picture her clicking her tounge at you, 'chhhck chhhck'

MHS · Post by **MHS** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:34 am

LawBeefaroni wrote:Yesterday we were having dinner at home. Wife and I were discussing plans for the weekend. Tiks straightened up in her chair, looked at me seriously, wagged her finger, and said, "Daddy, if you want to be a big hitter, you have to wear a team shirt!"

We have no idea where that is from. I vaguely understand what it means, something about teamwork I assume, but no idea where she picked it up. Oh, and when I asked where she heard that, she just WINKED (!?) at me and said, "Team shirt, daddy."

That girl is going to rule the world someday.

Has she moved on to flirting with other men since I took Neal home?

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 1:06 pm

MHS wrote:
That girl is going to rule the world someday. Has she moved on to flirting with other men since I took Neal home?

Apparently Charlie from school benefited from the rebound. Her teacher told us that they are an "item." Tiks told us "he's my buddy."

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 1:25 pm

My almost 4 YO daughter was playing with the maitre'd at the restauraunt we were at last night. After talking with him for like 5 minutes she told him, "I love you."

My daughter is such an affection hussy.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 1:31 pm

My daughter (3.10) was brushing her teeth and said "Mommy, look, I'm brushing my teef."

I corrected her and said "No - tee-TH."

She looked at me and said "Yeah, I'm not so good at that."

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 1:38 pm

Eldest to me: "Daddy, mommy says you like butts. Do you like butts?" Me (glaring at wife): "Yes, I do. I also like elbows, hands, fingers, hairs..."

Eldest to an aunt I never see (he was with his Gramama): "Mommy says you're alcohol and it's destroying your body. Are you going to die?"

I think I need to keep my wife away from him for a while.

noxiousdog · Post by **noxiousdog** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 2:38 pm

Speaking of flirts:
Yesterday we had a thing at Noxiouspup's (10) classroom. Shenanigans was there with us and all of the sudden she spots one of his classmates and walks quickly over to him, introduces herself and starts flirting. Looking him in the eye, playing with her hair, etc.

My 5 year old flirting with a 10 year old.

Later, We asked her if she was ready to go to school next fall. "No. I'll have to get up too early. How am I going to get my beauty sleep?"

zinckiwi · Post by **zinckiwi** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 2:48 pm

Madeline: (barely stifling giggles) Knock knock!
Me: Who's there?
Madeline: (spluttering with mirth) Mr Potato!
Me: Mr Potato who?
Madeline: (writhing in peals of laughter) APPLESAUCE WATERMELON!

...

Madeline: What's that place?
Me: What place?
Madeline: That place.
Me: What place? I can't see you point.
Madeline: That place. With the owl.
Me: Hooters.

Captain Caveman · Post by **Captain Caveman** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 3:07 pm

For the past two weeks, my 2 year old insists on watching me shower every morning. Yesterday, upon debriefing, he nonchalantly remarked: "Daddy has nice penis".

Damn straight.

YellowKing · Post by **YellowKing** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 3:49 pm

For the past two weeks, my 2 year old insists on watching me shower every morning. Yesterday, upon debriefing, he nonchalantly remarked: "Daddy has nice penis".

My son (1 1/2), when seeing me step out of the shower, points at mine and laughs out loud. I mean seriously? I expect that from my wife but not my own son. Bro code man, bro code.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 4:19 pm

zinckiwi wrote:Madeline: (barely stifling giggles) Knock knock!
Me: Who's there?
Madeline: (spluttering with mirth) Mr Potato!
Me: Mr Potato who?
Madeline: (writhing in peals of laughter) APPLESAUCE WATERMELON!

Nonsensical knock-knock jokes are a daily staple at the Skinypupy household.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Wed Jun 05, 2013 10:43 am

This morning:
Her: "I want to be a Powerpuff BOY! I'm picking out my clothes, not you!"
Us: "Um, ok..." (we always let her pick out her clothes)

The result:

I guess that explains the karate kicks and punches she was practicing last night.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Wed Jun 05, 2013 2:32 pm

My kids are banned from Powerpuff Girls. It makes them act like crazed kick fighting weazels.

They think SheZow is hysterical. The almost 3 year old wants to be Cosmo from Fairly Oddparents.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:54 am

We were out of town for the weekend. While the wife was in class, Tiks and I kicked it around Madison. Saturday we went to the gardens. Again, she picked out her own outfit. It had a certain Angus Young vibe:

Spoiler:

Then she got freaked the hell out by every bug and bird she saw (and there were a lot) so we had to beat a hasty retreat. Danged city kids.

YellowKing · Post by **YellowKing** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:23 am

We went to a wedding this weekend and I took my daughter. I was afraid she was going to be bored, and at first my suspicions were coming true. She wasn't bad during the ceremony but was starting to get a little squirmy towards the end.

Then the reception came. They had a dance floor and she turned into a different child. She wound up dancing for two hours straight, stopping only for a bite of wedding cake and to drink an occasional sip of water. She was the life of the party - dancing with the bridesmaids, outdancing the other kids (she takes ballet but apparently they also teach stripper/club dance), and generally putting a smile on everyone's face.

The highlight of the evening was when she asked me to slow dance with her to Unchained Melody -

That about made old Daddy cry - I am going to be a total wreck at her wedding.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:31 am

Went to a cousin's baptism on Sunday. It being in a catholic church and all, they had jesus on the cross hanging from the ceiling. My daughter (us being Jewish) looks up at the cross and says, "What's he doing up there?"

That's...kind of a long answer honey.

Captain Caveman · Post by **Captain Caveman** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 1:27 pm

My wife has a sister named Christy who, despite other genuine qualities, is rather unrefined and occasionally breaks wind around family without shame or apology. Her house is on some land outside Dallas, and during our last visit there, a skunk had sprayed nearby making the yard reek terribly. My 2 year old was fascinated. Yesterday in the car, apropos of nothing, he said matter-of -factly, "a skunk lives in Aunt Christy's butt".

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 1:49 pm

My youngest is convinced you have pooped your pants when you break wind. She would have been yelling "Aunt Christy just pooped her pants, she needs DIAPERS! hehe."

Zaxxon · Post by **Zaxxon** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:39 am

My daughter Aria playing the role of Hodor.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:00 pm

El Guapo wrote:Went to a cousin's baptism on Sunday. It being in a catholic church and all, they had jesus on the cross hanging from the ceiling. My daughter (us being Jewish) looks up at the cross and says, "What's he doing up there?"

That's...kind of a long answer honey.

dying for your sins, sweetie.

naednek · Post by **naednek** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:42 pm

While on vacation....

Ethan loves playing with his 6 month old sister, he kisses her, sings to her, plays peek a boo, and lately likes to hover over her pretending he's wrestling

While on vacation getting ready to head out on one of our activities, Ethan was "wrestling" and all of a sudden we hear.... "Game Over"

Apparently he won the match.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:02 pm

Little B 4.4 brings me her empty Yoda Pez dispenser.

B: Daddy, we need to get a new one of these.
Me: Why, is this one broken?
B: Yes.
Me: (looking it over) Looks fine to me. Where is it broken?
B: It doesn't have any candy in it!