Parents - How much tech time do your kids get?

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 9:43 pm

Curious to get a general sense of how much “tech time” or screen time your kids get. We usually give ours (12 and 7) about 90 minutes of gaming time, with sometimes another hour of Netflix (if they’ve been good).

My curiosity was piqued because Little B 12.0 has started playing some MP games with her friends the last few months (mainly Fortnite). No matter what time of day she logs on, two of her classmates are on. She’s usually on from 6:30-8:00, and they’re always there. She logged on at 2:00 on Friday. They’re on. 9:00 this morning to show me a new skin. They’re on. Logged on at 4:00 on Wednesday. They’re on. Every time I log onto the Switch to play after she goes to bed (she plays on my account), both of them are on until 10 or 11 at night.

It all seems extremely excessive, but maybe I’m just overly restrictive so I thought I’d ask.

hitbyambulance · Post by **hitbyambulance** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:03 pm

my brother keeps his kids at something like one hour of (kid's channel) Youtube time per day, and three hours of gaming on each weekend day, and strictly filters what they can see or play. my son's mom basically gave my (non-custodial) son unlimited computer time and unfiltered access to the entire internet. so we have side-by-side experiments in extremes, and we'll see how this bears out in the future

stimpy · Post by **stimpy** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:15 pm

Being logged on does not mean sitting there actively playing.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:28 pm

stimpy wrote: ↑Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:15 pm Being logged on does not mean sitting there actively playing.

Sorry, I should have clarified. They’re actively in-game and playing every time she logs on.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:41 pm

I got an hour of B&W TV. Mainly the Flintstones and Science Fiction theater. And Superman,the Lone Ranger and Roy Rogers.

McNutt · Post by **McNutt** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:44 pm

My kids get about 3 hours over the weekend and maybe an hour total the rest of the week.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 11:20 pm

When they were little, two hours a day in five minute increments. We had a bowl of yarn poms, and each of them had a small bowl. Every morning they got 24 balls in their bowl, worth five minutes of gaming each. Any misbehavior and I'd tell them to bring me a ball out of their bowl. Only once did the behavior last past the first lost ball. It was a marvelous tool.

On the weekends I added a third hour each day, but the rule was that it had to be a game that they played together.

As they got older it was simply two hours on school nights, three on weekends.

Since they're now older teens, and starting with the lockdown, we stopped actively keeping track, as long as all schoolwork got done, grades stayed up, and chores got done, and there was no attitude problem. It was their socialization during a time when social activities were off limits. It was their fun in a time when fun wasn't allowed. It was their stress relief in a stressful time. I have no issue with opening the gates a bit. There are still certain times where things have to be done (bed time, dinner time, etc.)

Our system was deemed acceptable and not excessive by both therapists and doctors throughout their childhood.

FWIW, we also have a blanket rule in the house: Until you're 18, privacy isn't a thing. If you're on the internet, I can check what you're doing at any point. Who you're talking to, what you're talking about, what sites you're visiting, etc. We rarely ever invoked that unless something triggered our suspicions, but we reminded them of it regularly. I'm certain that there was a little covert porn browsing along the way (they're teenagers - it's the equivalent of finding dad's Playboys under the bed), but I wasn't too worried about that. It's a part of growing up.

gbasden · Post by **gbasden** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:44 am

Our rules with our son in elementary school were that he got a few hours on the computer and as much TV as he wanted as long as it was a show we thought had value. After homework, of course. Given that he is autistic, we wanted him to actively see well modeled social interaction. Since then, we've basically given him his autonomy, with the proviso that if grades slipped we would step in and take control back. We've had to do that a few times, but he's basically handled himself pretty well.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 8:35 am

As a kid I had to go to bed by 9 PM except Friday and Saturday when I could stay up as long as I wanted to. When I got to be around 10-12 they raised my bedtime to 10PM.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:05 am

We are horrible on this.
Horrible.

Honest answer is our autistic sons gets probably like 10 hours.
Daughter is nearly as bad. But probably more like 7.
They are 13 and 10, respectively.

(I’m just generically counting all ‘screen time’)

During COVID it has gone to this extreme. This is where they play with friends (online) and also get entertainment as well as remote learning.

This is -exactly- how my son wants school and social things to work. He’s not social.

My daughter longs for a more in person exchange.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:08 am

Before COVID? The kids got maybe 2 hours a day.

During COVID? My wife is doing whatever it takes to stay sane with her working from home, having deadlines, and still trying to care for 2 kids. They've gotten more than 2 hours of "computer fun time" each day for a year now, in addition to "computer school time"

Our kids are still lightweights compared to their peers, who (as another mentioned) always seem to be on and stay on after our kids are told to shut down. Unfortunately, computers are now how they maintain friendships and I'm reluctant to shut them off from multiplayer games with Discord going while they chat and have fun.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:19 am

My daughters are 11.7 and 14.8 and both have been full virtual except for a 3 week stint in September for the 14 year old. At the beginning of the year, there were no limits. We found this detrimental to the 14 year old's grades, so we made adjustments. They can watch TV over lunch and during dinner, and can then use their devices until 30 minutes before bed time on weekdays. On weekends, there are no limits. Some of their only social interaction is the 2-3 hours of Minecraft they play with their cousins each weekend.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:28 am

There is no question that the last year has been a time of compromises. The standard guidance falls flat during a lockdown. And both kids and parents benefit from kids not going stir crazy. Thus the compromises, and no parent should feel guilt over that. It's an extraordinary time.

The hard part is going to be getting the genie back in the bottle when it's all over.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:43 am

Depends on whether my wife is working that night or not. If so, their Kindles/Laptop/Chromebook/Xbox is the only thing guaranteed to keep them reasonably quiet so she can sleep. At least when my son is on the Chromebook he's doing school work, and my daughter will play ABC Mouse when I reminder her to do so. But lockdown + winter means they are spending way too much time, there's just too damn many hours in the day.

We can get them to do things like painting and creating life-size cartoon characters out of construction paper (they both do it, son saw in on YouTube once and now our house is full of them) but that keeps them busy an hour or so at best. They have toys, but aren't particularly interested in them. When encouraged to play with them, they basically get scattered all over the house and not much actual playing takes place.

It's not all bad though -- my 4-year old has a much greater vocabulary than her first-grade, 7 year old brother, including quite a number of 3 and 4 syllable words. She's learned dancing from watching YouTube. My son has taught himself several songs on the piano. My son still reads a book every night.

YellowKing · Post by **YellowKing** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:53 am

Short answer: "Way too much."

We generally don't have any restrictions on it. My daughter (11) seemingly has no issues from it. She's making straight As in school, no behavior issues, etc.

My son (9) has had some attention and minor discipline problems. We've settled into an uncomfortable treaty where as long as he's behaving, he has relatively free reign, but when he starts stepping out of line we WILL take it away.

I feel bad because I know it's too much screen time, but I also know it's the only way they can really socialize with their friends. When they're online, they're playing with friends. Rarely are they starting at a screen in solitude.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:58 am

Yeah, my kids have had no social interaction (outside school for my son) since Halloween. My daughter only gets to occasionally chat with her best friend on video calls, which can last hours when they do occur.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:18 am

Thanks all, this has been very helpful to see.

Our kids have been doing in-person school since September, so I'm not nearly as concerned about tech time as an immediate need for social interaction. In my daughter's case, she's spending all day at school with these same few kids she's gaming with. Granted, it's a different type of interaction, but it's not like they're lacking for connection. While I do think it's excessive for her friends to be on 24/7, I'll quit passing judgements as I don't know their circumstance.

The Wonder Twins aren't really old enough for MP games with friends, but they have been playing a few games that have limited chat or social interaction (Plants vs. Zombies Battle for Neighborville, Splatoon 2, etc.). It's been a good way to ease them into playing with others, and we'll have to see what happens when they actually start getting friends requesting to play.

Our 90 minutes of games + a little extra TV time seems to be working pretty well for us right now. The threat to take away gaming time has also been a good motivator (sometimes the only motivator) to correct bad behavior, and I think that gets amplified since they have so little time to begin with. I'm OK with that, and we can always adjust as they get older.

Post by **ImLawBoy** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:30 am

If we're talking non-school related tech time, the twins (6 1/2) get one hour per day on their Fire tablets (regulated by the Fire, which stops video access after the time you set). Older kid (10) gets longer if needed/wanted, and the twins will sometimes over-the-shoulder watch what he's watching, but it's generally no more than an extra half-hour. On weekends we may watch a movie as a family or they may get some TV time as I watch sports (which consists of them staring at the commercials and doing something else during the action).

Kids are all fully remote for school, so they obviously get a lot of screen time associated with that.

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:07 am

We were always lax about screen time, but we've become even more so since the pandemic. My son (11) is on a device most of the day, switching to reading and drawing in the evening. Other than school and after-school enrichment stuff, his online time is a mix of Roblox (so much Roblox), YouTube (so much YouTube), and quasi-educational things like Scratch and Tinkercad.

It's probably too much, but honestly this COVID thing is hard and we're all doing our best.

Reemul · Post by **Reemul** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:19 am

I think you can obsess over how much time they are allowed but we do it the other way round.

My boys are 14 and 10. Both play golf, football and fish. We also have a snooker table up where they play pool or snooker and we also play family games and watch some tv together and they love watching soccer of which there is loads on

They get as long as they want on their tablets / consoles but the above key. They would still rather play golf,. socialise etc than play consoles and tablets, they fill the times in between when the above don't or can't happen.

My kids love gaming, Fifa is their got to game but the would still rather do any of the above before gaming, occasionally a game becomes obsessive and we talk about it and wind it in slightly.

It's about giving them a wide choice of things to do and spending time with them.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:01 pm

AWS260 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:07 am Other than school and after-school enrichment stuff, his online time is a mix of Roblox (so much Roblox), YouTube (so much YouTube), and quasi-educational things like Scratch and Tinkercad.

Sounds like my 12 year old when he was 11 - and he's now dropped Scratch in favor of playing with the Unity game development platform.

coopasonic · Post by **coopasonic** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:15 pm

All of it.

If I am not sleeping, eating, working or doing chores and I can't get anyone to play a board game with me, I am on the computer or a console. and my kids are on about as much as I am. If they aren't on the computer or console, they are watching garbage on TV. Along the lines of what Blackhawk said, as long as the stuff that needs doing gets done they get their play time. They are both good students and nobody is getting terribly obese. *shrug*

My question would be, what are they doing when they aren't on the screens? Mine would be sitting around complaining about how bored they are. It's winter, rainy, muddy, outside isn't really much of an option... then in summer it's too damn hot and the community pool was closed for COVID. My oldest, 14, will sometimes get up and go read a book. We need to kick the youngest, 11, off the computer to get food or do chores (the tiny bit we have them do).

We have Misery Mondays (used to No Tech Tuesdays but moved for reasons) where we stay off electronics from 5pm-bedtime. We used to play board games or pool, darts, ping pong, etc in that window, but now it is mostly TV because they are at an age where board games with Dad is lame. It's much worse the first Saturday of every month, Stone Age Saturday, which is a whole day of sitting around waiting for Sunday to play games. These events were created in response to my wife's concerns with the kids being addicted to video games. "It's not addiction, honey, video games are fun and there isn't really anything else to do that is remotely as engaging." I (and the boys) *vastly* prefer active entertainment over passive entertainment. She... does not.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:30 pm

coopasonic wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:15 pm These events were created in response to my wife's concerns with the kids being addicted to video games. "It's not addiction, honey, video games are fun and there isn't really anything else to do that is remotely as engaging." I (and the boys) *vastly* prefer active entertainment over passive entertainment. She... does not.

Mrs. Skinypupy is a complete non-gamer (board or video), so this is certainly driving our household behavior as well. If the kids get any more than 90 minutes, she gets really antsy about them "wasting time" with video games. Thankfully, they all are good with reading, playing basketball/football/soccer, building Legos, etc.

None of the kids have complained yet about a lack of tech time compared to their peers, but I'm sure that's probably coming.

Torfish · Post by **Torfish** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:30 pm

Great topic because I think it absolutely needs to be restricted for kids. 110% parents responsibility.

We did 2 hours per day. We called it screen time which Included any electronic gaming and TV watching. Took the phones away at night, so no phones in the bedroom at night. We did this until the kids were around 14-15 yrs old. 15-18 it was limited but not that restrictive.

Edit: A side note, we homeschooled 3 of the four kids. Last one is 14 and was not homeschooled.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 1:17 pm

At home, all the 4.5 yo wants to do is play games or talk about games. When we don't let him play on a screen, he plays "in real life" where he pretends he's in game.

I'm concerned but he's also in school 5 days a week for 9+ hours a day, where he's not gaming or taking about games.

The 10 YO watches lot of youtube, maybe around 2 hours some days, but we monitor. It's mostly diy how-to's or drawing/music instruction. Would prefer she used books but can't have everything.

The 10YO has a phone but it locks between 9pm and 7am and has screen time limits.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 1:38 pm

Skinypupy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:18 am The threat to take away gaming time has also been a good motivator (sometimes the only motivator) to correct bad behavior, and I think that gets amplified since they have so little time to begin with.

Preach!

I mentioned that we started with the balls in a bowl when they were little (starting at four or five) and misbehavior would cause them to have to remove one, each representing five minutes of gaming. It worked well at that age because it was an immediate, visual, and sensory representation of gaming that wasn't going to take place for hours. Smaller kids don't always have the brain development to associate consequnces now if the impact isn't for hours, and this solved that. Taking a ball out of the bowl was cause for tears. And on the other end of it, a little ball representing five minutes of gaming time made a great occasional reward for good behavior without the drawbacks of candy or similar. Birthday present? A dozen balls in a ziplock was a huge hit.

By the time they were a little older we traded in the balls for simply keeping track of time. If we were at the store and I picked up something for dinner they didn't like, and they'd start arguing and carrying on, I'd warn them. Then I'd say, "Minus five." And almost every time the behavior stopped immediately, because they knew the next time I spoke could be, "Minus ten." From the time it was introduced to the time that they were old enough not to need it, it was the only discipline/reward tool I ever needed.

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:00 pm

One of my favorite stories was when Mr. Fed was relating that his wife was deleting the kid's TV shows from TiVo while they watched her do it to stop them from causing a ruckus. I have to respect that kind of out-of-the-box thinking.

We're pretty relaxed with electronics to a point. There's no iPhone or iPad after 6pm as we've noticed both devices are texting/chatting portals that encourage complete disconnection from reality. We don't ever want to be in a position where a phone or an iPad is in her room at night, so by cutting that off at 6pm, it hasn't been an issue.

I guess I don't view all electronic useage as the same. There's probably bias but (to me) puzzling through a video game is different than watching 3 hours of dancing TikToks. Watching 2 hours of "How it's Made" is different than 2 hours of "Survivor".

So really I guess for us it's more of a limit to when at this point. When she was younger (i.e. not an angsty tween or now teen) there were more limits during the day (weekends mainly), but now during the pandemic it truly is one of the only ways to socialize and escape.

Tough times.

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:01 pm

Paingod wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:01 pm
AWS260 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:07 am Other than school and after-school enrichment stuff, his online time is a mix of Roblox (so much Roblox), YouTube (so much YouTube), and quasi-educational things like Scratch and Tinkercad.
Sounds like my 12 year old when he was 11 - and he's now dropped Scratch in favor of playing with the Unity game development platform.

Is there a teaching resource you used to get him started on that? He's told us that he wants to learn C#, but neither parent knows a whit about coding.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:12 pm

Smoove_B wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:00 pm We're pretty relaxed with electronics to a point. There's no iPhone or iPad after 6pm as we've noticed both devices are texting/chatting portals that encourage complete disconnection from reality. We don't ever want to be in a position where a phone or an iPad is in her room at night, so by cutting that off at 6pm, it hasn't been an issue.

Heh, our video game time starts at 6:30 and goes to 8:00. We do have the same rules about no phone in her room at night though.

Between the PS4, Switch, iPhone, iPad, laptop, and retro systems (Atari & Sega), they have a number of devices they can play on. Every 30 minutes, I yell "SWITCH" and they change up devices. We generally have three 30 minute rotations each day, for a total of 90 minutes of gaming time.

Even though they all get the exact same amount of time with the exact same devices, they would fight to the death over who got to choose first. Like, literally devolve into fistfights.

We previously tried determining the turn order by who was the best behaved that day, but Wonder Twin A would always end up choosing last (because he's generally a pain in the arse).

We've instead set up a system where the order of who gets to choose which device changes each day. Turn order goes A/B/C on Sunday, C/A/B on Monday, B/C/A on Tuesday, then repeat. On Saturday, we have a "drawing" to determine the order, and they get additional entries for good behavior. It's worked out pretty well, and we've incorporated it into other things as well. I.E. Whoever goes in turn A, B, or C today needs to do chore X, Y, or Z before tech time.

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:21 pm

Skinypupy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:12 pmmanagement system

What you've described is why I think my one friend gave up and each kid has their own device. He said the fighting was becoming a real problem and it was just easier to buy 4 consoles. I can't get into that headspace (not just considering buying multiple consoles, but having multiple kids), but I can at least appreciate the cost of mental health.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:59 pm

AWS260 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:01 pm
Paingod wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:01 pm
AWS260 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:07 am Other than school and after-school enrichment stuff, his online time is a mix of Roblox (so much Roblox), YouTube (so much YouTube), and quasi-educational things like Scratch and Tinkercad.
Sounds like my 12 year old when he was 11 - and he's now dropped Scratch in favor of playing with the Unity game development platform.
Is there a teaching resource you used to get him started on that? He's told us that he wants to learn C#, but neither parent knows a whit about coding.

Mostly his obsession with wanting to be a programmer. His 'scripting' in Unity hasn't taken off yet, though. He's mostly tinkering with objects, lighting, and pre-built resources.

For students, though, there's free access to Unity's knowledge base. I don't know if that extends to lower schools - I had to use my school email address to register for it. Once I had that, though, I was swimming in comprehensive How-To's. These video lessons walked me through opening pre-built resources and creating my own code step-by-step to achieve things with them. I have some minimal exposure to programming through a college class so it made sense to me when I walked in.

I don't know, though, how to ease a kid into the actual C#. Having seen what Scratch can do, I know kids become aware of object-oriented programming. To that end, Unity does have an object-oriented programming option called Bolt. It's been a while since I looked at it, but IIRC, Unity was intending to build in a similar feature. Bolt (or a similar feature) may help make Unity more understandable for a kid coming from Scratch.

hitbyambulance · Post by **hitbyambulance** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:07 pm

i wonder what the prevalence of autistic or on-the-spectrum offspring is, here? it's been mentioned several times in this thread. my adult son is.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:08 pm

AWS260 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:01 pm
Paingod wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:01 pm
AWS260 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:07 am Other than school and after-school enrichment stuff, his online time is a mix of Roblox (so much Roblox), YouTube (so much YouTube), and quasi-educational things like Scratch and Tinkercad.
Sounds like my 12 year old when he was 11 - and he's now dropped Scratch in favor of playing with the Unity game development platform.
Is there a teaching resource you used to get him started on that? He's told us that he wants to learn C#, but neither parent knows a whit about coding.

I myself learned by way of a "Udemy" course, I would recommend it.

https://www.udemy.com/course/unitycourse/

Specifically: Complete C# Unity Game Developer 2D

It's $129, but you own it forever. I got it back in Oct, 2017 - did about half of it and then went off on my own (small project)...

Then just a week ago I wanted to 're-learn' it and do another project, so I restarted the course - and the course was totally updated and I am basically watching a new, modern version of what I took 3.5 years ago.

Tons of courses there, this one (so happens) is top rated. They (Ben and Rick, the guys behind the one I mentions) also have 3D and other specific courses I may eventually take.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:11 pm

Smoove_B wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:00 pm
I guess I don't view all electronic useage as the same. There's probably bias but (to me) puzzling through a video game is different than watching 3 hours of dancing TikToks. Watching 2 hours of "How it's Made" is different than 2 hours of "Survivor".

I swear my 4 year old can name half the critters in the ocean now, many from watching documentaries with me. We read a sea-based book the other day, in the beginning and end there are dozens of sea creatures pictured and she knows most of them. Now, they might not compare with her love for the baby sharktopus (we watched Sharktopus vs. Pterocuda the other day), but she's quick to point out a manta ray or moray eel when she sees it.

gbasden · Post by **gbasden** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:39 pm

hitbyambulance wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:07 pm i wonder what the prevalence of autistic or on-the-spectrum offspring is, here? it's been mentioned several times in this thread. my adult son is.

My son is.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 4:03 pm

hitbyambulance wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:07 pm i wonder what the prevalence of autistic or on-the-spectrum offspring is, here? it's been mentioned several times in this thread. my adult son is.

We've been going through a testing process with Wonder Twin A, and have an appointment to discuss the results tomorrow afternoon.

So...maybe?

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 4:25 pm

Unagi wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:08 pm I myself learned by way of a "Udemy" course, I would recommend it.

Thanks!

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 4:27 pm

Paingod wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:59 pm
For students, though, there's free access to Unity's knowledge base.

Thank you! He knows some js, so that may help ease his way in.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 5:36 pm

Smoove_B wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:00 pm We're pretty relaxed with electronics to a point. There's no iPhone or iPad after 6pm as we've noticed both devices are texting/chatting portals that encourage complete disconnection from reality. We don't ever want to be in a position where a phone or an iPad is in her room at night, so by cutting that off at 6pm, it hasn't been an issue.

Can you effectively communicate this idea to my workplace? Also add in weekends.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Mon Mar 01, 2021 6:04 pm

Skinypupy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:12 pm
We've instead set up a system where the order of who gets to choose which device changes each day. Turn order goes A/B/C on Sunday, C/A/B on Monday, B/C/A on Tuesday, then repeat. On Saturday, we have a "drawing" to determine the order, and they get additional entries for good behavior. It's worked out pretty well, and we've incorporated it into other things as well. I.E. Whoever goes in turn A, B, or C today needs to do chore X, Y, or Z before tech time.

And yet another similarity. We had two things they'd fight over, so we simply alternated the two. On day one whoever got second pick for gaming got to pick the meal. On day two it switched. They always got their way on one thing, it was set in stone, and the arguing stopped.

hitbyambulance wrote: ↑Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:07 pm i wonder what the prevalence of autistic or on-the-spectrum offspring is, here? it's been mentioned several times in this thread. my adult son is.

My eldest is.