Went on Clothing Optional Cruise - Now w/link to NSFW pics

[Brian]

I have mentioned this on here a couple times but now that it's just days away I am creating a thread for this. The wife and I will be embarking on a ten day, Caribbean cruise that will be entirely clothing optional for the duration.

The ship leaves Miami on Monday, the 14th (Valentine's Day) and returns on the 24th. Port visits focus on French Caribbean islands and include Martinique, St. Barth's, Guadelpue, and St. Martin. Additionally, a visit to the Celebrity Cruise Lines owned island of Coco Cay will also take place.

Once the ship leaves Miami all passengers will be allowed to wear as much or as little clothing as they desire including going completely nude. The only times passengers will need to be dressed is during dinner time (if eating in the main dining room), during the Captain's Party, and when in port.

I have always believed in the idea of naturism/social nudity but never actually engaged in it until now or in the near future anyway. I guess it's time to put my money where my mouth (among other things) is and see if I can actually participate in that ideal.

This trip was actually (mostly) my wife's idea. I had been planning a trip to St. Martin and was checking various travel agencies and villa rental sites and must have signed up for information from a dozen or more places. One of those places sent me a package that included a pamphlet for this cruise. I looked it over and thought it might be fun but figured the wife would never go for it so I tossed it on the coffee table thinking I'd throw it away later. When the wife came home she found it, looked through it, and decided that it looked like something fun to do. So I signed us up (this was over a year ago) and now the actual cruise is upon us. I'm apprehensive and enthused at the same time.

My understanding, which is backed up by visiting the travel companies forum, is that the majority of the passengers on this and similar cruises tend to be older, retired couples so I imagine the pool area is going to look like somebody left a bunch of elephant skin rugs laying about. I'm no treat to look at myself but I figure most of those folks have seen far worse so I'm not too worried about being embarrassed.

We plan on taking lots of pictures and I'll even try to post some of the SFW ones when we get back.

Naturally, three days before we leave I have come down with a terrible head cold and am congested with an awful sore throat. Been munching on Zicam's every three hours or so in the hopes of staving off much worse.

Have any of you folks ever been on a trip like this? Have you ever wanted to? Do you think I'm completely crazy?

[hepcat]

For the love of God, do NOT post your vacation pictures....

[Brian]

How about just the SFW ones?

[hepcat]

Too risky. The chances of "Little Brian" making a cameo appearance are too high. I'm not willing to take that risk.

[GreenGoo]

How about just the SFW ones?

Dude, if you were even remotely truthful when talking about your wife, I'll suffer the eye burn of seeing you naked if I get to see her as well.

Just keep that in mind.

As for the cruise, I've grown too self conscious and have body issues that are mostly psychological, which have manifested as I grew older. As a kid I might have been persuaded. I'm fairly private though, and that includes my body, so even when I was proud of it, I was unlikely to put it on display. I am definitely conservative when it comes to clothing. I even find women in somewhat subtle clothing far more sexy that those who put it on display, even if they have the goods. And don't even talk to me about those who put it on display and don't have the goods. That really makes me cringe.

So...yeah. I probably wouldn't have the guts in your position, but I think it's cool that others such as yourself, do.

[Brian]

"Little Brian" takes offense to that. He prefers to be called "Rudy." If you've seen the movie, you'll understand.

[Isgrimnur]

So his time in the game is measured in seconds?

[Jeff V]

You might want to invest in a pair of Ray Charles Ray-bans. You know, the kind that are completely opaque.

I think the nudist culture was spawned (or at least popularized) by the hippies in the late '60's. It doesn't seem to be a trend passed to their kids and grand kids...expect to see a lot of old people. Once, I was on a two-day canoe trip that passed by a nudist beach in Wisconsin, and it was truly frightening. I always wondered if there was a bus to take them all back to the old folk's home (and this was nearly 20 years ago!)

[hepcat]

"Little Brian" takes offense to that. He prefers to be called "Rudy." If you've seen the movie, you'll understand.

Your penis is a plucky outsider who wins the hearts of a small town through sheer perseverance?

[Brian]

Dude, if you were even remotely truthful when talking about your wife, I'll suffer the eye burn of seeing you naked if I get to see her as well.

Obviously I'll only post the SFW ones but I'm sure we'll end up with some pictures that will show her off without crossing the line.

[GreenGoo]

You might want to invest in a pair of Ray Charles Ray-bans. You know, the kind that are completely opaque.

Heh. Yeah, I'm pretty subtle and not particularly prone to leering, but even I would have difficulty when there is no where to look that doesn't have a nude body in it. (double negative ftw).

{even if it's just the staff worth looking at}

[GreenGoo]

Dude, if you were even remotely truthful when talking about your wife, I'll suffer the eye burn of seeing you naked if I get to see her as well.

Obviously I'll only post the SFW ones but I'm sure we'll end up with some pictures that will show her off without crossing the line.

For the love of god, at least get your ass waxed.

[Carpet_pissr]

I don't think you're crazy (though I have no way of really knowing I guess), but just curious more than anything.

Is there some draw to walking around naked, "socially" as you wrote, vs. walking around naked solo? When you write "take lots of pictures", do you mean of the passengers?

I've never really understood the whole nudism thing. Never been insulted, ashamed, or grossed out by it either, so I am completely unbiased here.

My knowledge extends to:
- a very high percentage of Germans are SERIOUSLY into nudism
- the nudists that I have known have always been overweight for some reason (just a colloquial observation)

I have always thought that we (Americans, stereotypically) were way too...Victorian, if you will, when it comes to our bodies, as if they are something dirty and to be ashamed of. OTOH, I have never had a desire to walk around in the nude in public (or at home for that matter), unless I had some reason for doing so (insanely hot, 2nd degree burns on my skin, playing the "greased pig" role in some game).

Just curious as to YOUR desire to do something like this. Maybe I'm missing something!

Hope you have a fun time, whatever your reasoning. Sounds like one of those relationship enriching experiences (especially since you both don't seem to be card carrying nudists).

[Carpet_pissr]

So his time in the game is measured in seconds?

That might be the best quip I have read on OO this year.

[Brian]

For the love of god, at least get your ass waxed.

That has never been an issue for me. What is an issue is skin tags. My saint of a wife spent two hours last night cutting roughly a hundred of the little buggers off me.

Hope to finish the rest off tonight.

Enjoy that image while you have lunch today.

[Isgrimnur]

So his time in the game is measured in seconds?

That might be the best quip I have read on OO this year.

Thank you very much!

[Odin]

I usually hate looking at pictures of other peoples' vacations. This is no exception. Have fun, but keep the lens cap on.

[Jeff V]

A friend of mine occasionally goes to Hedonism II in Jamaica. Once (maybe the last time she went), she took along the girl I was occasionally dating at the time.

I don't think I'd ever want to be on a cruise or in a resort like this, but neither are of much interest to me, clothed or not. Nude beach? Maybe in Brazil or France, where there are more likely to be sights to see. There's a hot springs spa in Colorado that I've been to a few times -- in the winter, it is "clothing optional" with a strong recommendation that you don't wear any (it can flash-freeze to your skin I guess if it's cold enough). For better or worse, swim suits are mandatory between May and October. My girl friend and I are both intrigued over the possibility of swimming nekkid under the stars...maybe after first visiting the sauna then jumping in the snow (which from what hear is supposed to be an amazing experience).

[RunningMn9]

For the love of god, at least get your ass waxed.

That has never been an issue for me. What is an issue is skin tags. My saint of a wife spent two hours last night cutting roughly a hundred of the little buggers off me.

Hope to finish the rest off tonight.

Enjoy that image while you have lunch today.

You just ruined like the next ten meals for me. Jesus H. Christ, man.

[Smoove_B]

Your bucket list must be awesome.

[GreenGoo]

For the love of god, at least get your ass waxed.

That has never been an issue for me. What is an issue is skin tags. My saint of a wife spent two hours last night cutting roughly a hundred of the little buggers off me.

Hope to finish the rest off tonight.

Enjoy that image while you have lunch today.

I'm eating as I type. You're going to have to do better than that. Even your worst day ever would stop me from eating my lunch.

[tgb]

My only contribution is to say that when I did a Caribbean cruise in March, it was in the 70's/80's during the day, and quite windy and chilly on deck at night. Be prepared for serious shrinkage.

[hepcat]

My only contribution is to say that when I did a Caribbean cruise in March, it was in the 70's/80's during the day, and quite windy and chilly on deck at night. Be prepared for serious shrinkage.

you're still sticking to that story?

[Pyperkub]

Don't forget the sunscreen. And find one that doesn't irritate you. Sunburn in sensitive places that don't see the sun much can put a HUGE damper on Valentine's Day Celebrations.

[Remus West]

playing the "greased pig" role in some game

I never ever want to play whatever this game is. I don't care what role you offer me. The answer is no.

[J.D.]

I've never been on one of these cruises but I do have some advice.

1. Sunscreen. You don't want Rudy to burn as I'm sure the peeling stage would be uncomfortable.
2. Wipe well after #2. No one likes someone who leaves streaks on the furniture.
3. Refrain from saying "smells like we're having fish tonight" until you are 100% certain that the kitchen is actually preparing fish for the evening's dinner.

[naednek]

isn't your sister going to that?

AWKARD

[tgb]

Wipe well after #2. No one likes someone who leaves streaks on the furniture.

Dibs on the sig.

[tgb]

My only contribution is to say that when I did a Caribbean cruise in March, it was in the 70's/80's during the day, and quite windy and chilly on deck at night. Be prepared for serious shrinkage.

you're still sticking to that story?

After seeing me board the ship, it was changed to an "armor, burka, and chastity belt mandatory" cruise.

[tjg_marantz]

TTIWWP

(second W stands for With)

[Jag]

My fear with clothing optional is the people who opt out of clothing are usually the people you don't want to see.

[WYBaugh]

I've never been on one of these cruises but I do have some advice.

1. Sunscreen. You don't want Rudy to burn as I'm sure the peeling stage would be uncomfortable.
2. Wipe well after #2. No one likes someone who leaves streaks on the furniture.
3. Refrain from saying "smells like we're having fish tonight" until you are 100% certain that the kitchen is actually preparing fish for the evening's dinner.

What about the toilet paper dingleberries? I'd look like a popcorn ceiling from behind.

[Bob]

I read this entire thread and will not be back for the pictures. The images in my mind right now are quite awful enough, thank you.

[Paingod]

I read this entire thread and will not be back for the pictures. The images in my mind right now are quite awful enough, thank you.

I scrolled down to the bottom first, saw this and opted to close the thread without reading backwards.

[Odin]

My fear with clothing optional is the people who opt out of clothing are usually the people you don't want to see.

Exactly. I remember back when I was a kid and I used to read a magazine - it was either Mad or Cracked, I can't remember which. It used to have a regular feature which was a page showing how awesomely fantastic you'd imagine something to be, followed by a page of the harsh reality. Nudist events strike me as a prime example of this. Nor do I fail to recognize that I would be a prime offender if I participated. To quote Groucho: I'd never join any [such] organization that would have me as a member.

[J.D.]

So no worries about embarrassing spontaneous erections then?

[hepcat]

So no worries about embarrassing spontaneous erections then?

It's coed, so no.

[Vorret]

isn't your sister going to that?

AWKARD

[hepcat]

isn't your sister going to that?

AWKARD

where's the cruise originating? Alabama?

[Jag]

While pictures are optional (unless they are of your wife), I am very much looking forward to a Brian AAR. This has potential to be legendary!