Ocean's Twelve - Pure Genius

Everything else!

Moderators: Bakhtosh, EvilHomer3k

Post Reply
User avatar
McNutt
Posts: 12368
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:57 pm
Location: What's the opposite of the Twittersphere

Ocean's Twelve - Pure Genius

Post by McNutt »

And by "genius" I mean total crap. This might have been worse than Alexander. The story was one of the weakest I've seen in a long time, but keep in mind I never saw Alien vs. Predator. I do have a question about the movie though and it requires a big

HUGE SPOILER WARNING

If you haven't seen the movie and are still reading this then I'm doing you a favor by ruining the movie. I'm worried I missed something that explains the theft of the egg. All they needed to do was steal the egg and they would win the contest and get their debt paid off. Now this is stupid and I equate the "generous donor" plot device with the "kill the mother and all the other bad creatures will die" plot device. Anyway, so they go to all this trouble of:
1. Creating some futuristic holograph technology
2. Flying in Julia Roberts
3. Getting thrown in jail with the hope of getting busted out.

At the end of the movie we find out that the gang already had the real egg. So why in the world did they go to all this trouble instead of calling the other thief and saying "We won?" And how in the hell did they get an exact replica of a Faberge egg that fast?

Damn I hated this movie.
User avatar
\/\/olverine
Posts: 263
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2004 2:43 pm
Location: Cali

Post by \/\/olverine »

I didn't care for it either, I stopped paying attention at some point through the movie and was itching to leave. Loved the first one though.
Dirt
Posts: 11025
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 11:17 am

Post by Dirt »

The faberge egg is the movie. The movie is pretty (like the egg) and the plot was fragile (like the egg). In the end, they gave you something that wasn't real, was false, but you ponyed up for it like it was going to be good and real. In the end, the joke is on the audience because the director and all the actors got away with the real egg (box office receipts) like thieves and bandits. The joke is on you.
User avatar
McNutt
Posts: 12368
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:57 pm
Location: What's the opposite of the Twittersphere

Post by McNutt »

Dirt wrote:The faberge egg is the movie. The movie is pretty (like the egg) and the plot was fragile (like the egg). In the end, they gave you something that wasn't real, was false, but you ponyed up for it like it was going to be good and real. In the end, the joke is on the audience because the director and all the actors got away with the real egg (box office receipts) like thieves and bandits. The joke is on you.
That was totally awesome. Damn good analogy.
User avatar
SuperHiro
Posts: 6877
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 2:00 pm
Location: Seattle, WA
Contact:

Post by SuperHiro »

I'm going to stand up and say I liked the movie. Here's a few points.

1) I've been a total Soderburgh/Clooney whore since "Out of Sight". In the beginning, when Clooney was robbing, and his car wouldn't start... I had the same car with the same problem.

2) I didn't watch Ocean's 12 as a "heist" film. I'll agree though, the "solution" part of the movie was unbelievably dumb. I hate Deus Ex Machina style endings like that. But then, Ocean's 11 had the same type of "dupe". HAR HAR YOU THOUGHT WE FAILED BUT WE DIDN'T.

3) It's a relief to see that guy who played the villian in Brotherhood of the Wolf (which is another movie ruining by a horrific ending fight scene) find some work.

4) So what did I see the movie as? I can't quite describe it. I was expecting some cool edits, funny situations, and The Amazing Yen to put himself in some sort of small container (I thought it was awesome how he spoke Chinese and everyone just understood what he was saying. My wife translated for me, it was pretty funny... he had some girlfriend troubles). What I wasn't expecting was to slap my forehead and say, "OH THOSE CLEVER OCEAN'S 12!!!"
User avatar
naednek
Posts: 10866
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:23 pm

Post by naednek »

I'm still trying to figure out how Oceans 11 Warranted a sequel. I mean Oceans 11 was a fun flick to watch. But it's one of those movies that doesn't need a sequel, not because it was bad (it wasn't) but it just simply doesn't need one.
User avatar
McNutt
Posts: 12368
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:57 pm
Location: What's the opposite of the Twittersphere

Post by McNutt »

The funniest thing about this crappy story is that everybody in Ocean's 11 had a specific role to play in the heist. Now they have the same crew, but nobody has a role.
User avatar
Mr. Sparkle
Posts: 12022
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 2:25 pm
Location: Cambridge, MA

Post by Mr. Sparkle »

Too much movie, not enough heist.
My blog: Chimpanzee Tea Party

"Osama Bin Laden can suck my insouciance." -Kung Fu Monkey
User avatar
AWS260
Posts: 12663
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:51 pm
Location: Brooklyn

Re:

Post by AWS260 »

Mr. Sparkle wrote: Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:23 pm Too much movie, not enough heist.
After watching Ocean's 12 again for the first time in a loooong time, I completely agree with this.

We watched Ocean's 11 with my 10-year-old a couple of nights ago, and while he was skeptical going in, he really enjoyed the heist. In Ocean's 12, the series of mini-heists are convoluted and difficult to follow, without be nearly as clever and coherent as in the original. I doubt we'll be able to convince him to give 13 a try.

And Soderbergh's directing just felt lazy. The movie toggles between two modes: exposition-heavy dialogue and energetic action-ish scenes with flashy cinematography and loud (but not good) music. While the first movie floated like a butterfly between these extremes, Ocean's 12 feels like someone shifting a car between drive and reverse, over and over again, with their foot pressed to the floor the whole time. In the end, it goes nowhere.
User avatar
Jaymann
Posts: 19317
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 7:13 pm
Location: California

Re: Ocean's Twelve - Pure Genius

Post by Jaymann »

The larger issue is what happened to Mr. Sparkle?
Jaymann
]==(:::::::::::::>
Black Lives Matter
malchior
Posts: 24794
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Re:

Post by malchior »

AWS260 wrote: Sun Aug 09, 2020 10:13 pm
Mr. Sparkle wrote: Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:23 pm Too much movie, not enough heist.
After watching Ocean's 12 again for the first time in a loooong time, I completely agree with this.

We watched Ocean's 11 with my 10-year-old a couple of nights ago, and while he was skeptical going in, he really enjoyed the heist. In Ocean's 12, the series of mini-heists are convoluted and difficult to follow, without be nearly as clever and coherent as in the original. I doubt we'll be able to convince him to give 13 a try.

And Soderbergh's directing just felt lazy. The movie toggles between two modes: exposition-heavy dialogue and energetic action-ish scenes with flashy cinematography and loud (but not good) music. While the first movie floated like a butterfly between these extremes, Ocean's 12 feels like someone shifting a car between drive and reverse, over and over again, with their foot pressed to the floor the whole time. In the end, it goes nowhere.
12 is easily the worst of the those 3 by far. It'd be worth pushing through to 13 because the 'reversed' nature of the story is a lot of fun.
User avatar
pr0ner
Posts: 17424
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2004 3:00 pm
Location: Northern Virginia, VA
Contact:

Re: Ocean's Twelve - Pure Genius

Post by pr0ner »

Jaymann wrote: Sun Aug 09, 2020 10:37 pm The larger issue is what happened to Mr. Sparkle?
Flamed out over a decade ago during an R&P spat with Mr. Fed.
Hodor.
Post Reply